Team 7 Oneshots
by Hanyma
Summary: A world where the three genin of team 7 were the best of friends. Even a certain Uchiha. To top it off, lets add just a little bit of crazy into the mix. Poor Kakashi sensei.
1. D-Ranks

Having picked up their next set of D-rank missions, team 7 began heading towards their first. To paint a fence around the property of an elderly couple at the outskirts of the village. The three genin grumbled as they carried their buckets of white paint, while their jounin sensei followed behind, giggling at a suspicious orange book.

Naruto, leaning towards his teammates, whispered "I don't know about you guys, but I feel as if our sensei needs to be taught a lesson. He does nothing except read that book of his and lazes around."

"What do you think we should do?" Replied Sakura, leaning her head in.

"Hn."

Naruto and Sakura looked at Sasuke in shock. "Plan 17? Sakura hissed. Don't you think that's a bit much for something like this?"

Naruto smirked. "Nah, I think it's a wonderful idea. At any rate, sensei deserves it."

"If you say so." Sakura sighed. Though there still was a gleam in her eye.

"Hn."

Kakashi watched his three genin snicker among themselves. He would always deny this, but he truly feared for what might happen. Or any other that would cross paths with them.

Everything was silent for the rest of the way there.

* * *

Naruto was currently wiping the fence with the paint covered brush, seemingly working hard and focused. Sakura was a few feet away, looking every bit of a perfectionist in her strokes of the brush. Sasuke, well…

Was looking at his part of the fence like he was about to set it on fire.

Kakashi paled. It wouldn't look good if they came back with a D-rank leaving the place worse off than before.

He sighed, at least they were working without complaining. He went back to his book, it was just getting good. Kakashi was getting deeper and deeper until…

 _POOF!_

Jumping to his feet, he realized that his three genin were gone! Somehow, the fence was even completely finished! Unaware through his shock, he barely looked up in time to see a bucket of paint fall onto his head. Covering his hair, clothes, and… and…

His book!

Grumbling, he set out to find his genin, unaware they had never left the tree. All three giggling silently, even a certain brooding emo.

"Stage 1, complete."

"Hn."

"Yes, great idea Naruto, using kage bunshins to finish the work. Kakashi sensei didn't even realize they were there when Sasuke and I applied a genjutsu on them!"

Naruto snickered. "Let's go wreak some havoc."

"Hn."

"Of course, of course, we'll make sure that cat gets what it deserves."

"It better."

"Hnnn."

"And yes, you can use your fire jutsus on it. Just let Sakura be able to soak it down afterwords. Happy?"

"Hn."

"Good."

* * *

Throughout the day, Kakashi had to ignore endless questions from fellow jounin about why he was covered in paint, feathers, and itching powder. To all that he replied was, "Walking Inuzuka dogs." Not to mention he had to explain to the Sandaime why Tora had all her hair shaved off, and was soaking wet.

It was obvious however, that the only ones who could be blamed were the genins of team 7. _Everyone_ saw them set the demon cat on fire. Though everyone was equally upset when it was doused afterwards.

Naruto giggled. "Well, it looks more proper now. Looks like a rat!"

Sakura burst out laughing. Though stopped when Tora began hissing at them. Sasuke smirked.

And lit a fireball in his palm.

Tora wouldn't leave the inside of the Sandaime's hat for the rest of the wait.

When the Daimyo's wife came around, Tora didn't hesitate to jump in her arms. Probably too terrified to be near the insane team 7. As they left, the three genin gave Tora a grin that threatened to split their faces. Behind them, everything seemed to go dark, and fires seemed to erupt everywhere. Eerie laughing was heard in the background. Sasuke even went as far to summon another little fireball in his hands. The Daimyo's wife and Tora couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Everyone looked at the three genin. Staring as they attempted to look as innocent as possible. It was surprisingly convincing.

The old Hokage cleared his throat. "Uh, missions completed team 7. You may take the rest of the day off. Kakashi, you may go clean yourself up. It looks like you had a pretty rough day."

Kakashi could only nod, too tired to say anymore words. Everyone just stared at the small storm cloud that followed him out of the office.

 _Why did I ever agree to take a genin team?_ He wailed to himself. _They are devils disguised as children!_

* * *

 **Next up, we got the mission to wave! Stay tuned in for what our crazy team 7 have in offer for our poor Zabuza and Haku! Possibly featuring tomatoes and raw fish!... Don't ask. Catch ya later!**


	2. Mission to Wave!

Team 7, plus one 'Old Smelly Drinker' as Naruto so forcefully labeled him, were walking down the path to the Land of Wave, as was the reason for their mission.

If one was to look closer, they would see their companion shaking, on the other side of the team's jounin sensei. Looking over at the genin, Tazuna could tremble in fear, is this how all ninja in Konoha behaved?

 _Flashback jutsu!_

 _"_ _Team 7, this is your client from the Land of Waves, Tazuna. You are to escort him and protect him while he builds a bridge from his land. Is that clear?"_

 _The genin nodded, looking serious. Kakashi and the Sandaime sighed, at least they were taking this in properly. Hopefully the client doesn't do anything ins-_

 _"_ _Huhhhh? It's just a bunch of squirts!"_

 _The room went silent._

 _"_ _Especially the smallest one with that idiot face!"_

 _A cold breeze seemed to pass through the room, giving chills to all those present, except the genin that is._

 _Kakashi attempted to laugh it off. "Oi oi my precious genin, he didn't mean anything, I'm sure! Heh heh he… tch. There goes the client."_

 _Tazuna stared at the jounin, "are you saying that these brats_ _can do anything?"_

 _Naruto grinned. "Oh these brats can do a lot, Mr. Old Smelly Drinker."_

 _Tazuna blinked. "What did you call me you insufferable-!"_

 _"_ _Old...Smelly...Drinker." Naruto ground out, still grinning. Everyone stared as the room felt the better part of a freezer, is that snow?_

 _As Tazuna stared at the blonde, he instantly felt fear when he saw red slit-eyes stare back into his own, his very soul._

 _"_ _Eheh, how about we just get ready to go?"_

Tazuna gulped, and looked back forward, the brats won't kill him. No, their apparent sensei seems to have enough common sense to stop them. He'll be fine for now.

And so, our adventurers continued their journey, making their first stop at a puddle. Naruto, excited for a chance, turned to Sasuke.

"Do you have any raw fish on you?"

Sasuke and Sakura blinked.

Tazuna and Kakashi blinked.

The two mysterious shinobi in the puddle blinked.

Naruto blinked.

"Yeah, sure, here you go." Sasuke replied, handing Naruto a fish that seemed to come from the depths of his bag.

Everyone stared.

Shouting in glee, Naruto grabbed the fish, and skipped towards the mysterious puddle. Holding it out, he dropped in the puddle, and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

There was a large splash as two unknown shinobi jumped out from the puddle, sputtering and coughing. The first ran to the trees, and proceeded to throw up his lunch in the forest. The second one, just couldn't take it. He collapsed the second he got out of the puddle.

Kakashi hummed. "Well, that was surprisingly efficient. I can't imagine how a raw fish could cause that much of a reaction."

Sakura smiled. "The fish was coated in a substance that we created, amplifying the smell of the fish when it comes into contact with water. To anyone in the water, it would smell like a thousand raw fish, rather than one."

 _Yadda yadda yadda, Tazuna's sappy story, begging, pleading, deciding to continue. Anyways, we get to a familiar rabbit._

"Everybody get down!"

Everyone ducked as a sword flew above where their heads once were, knowing that their enemy was sure to be harder than their last. Even though their last wasn't much of an enemy in the first place.

"Well well, if it isn't Kakashi the Sharingan user."

"Pfffft. Hahaha!"

"Oh this is rich!"

"He looks so funny!"

Everyone looked at the genin, sprawled on the ground in laughter. Zabuza twitched.

"Oi oi, you little brats, you think this is funny? How 'bout I kill you first!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Zabuza growled, and prepared a jutsu. Only to dodge a... tomato?

Everyone looked towards Sasuke, who took another tomato out of his pocket. Ignoring the stares, he turned to Naruto. "Mind throwing these tomatoes for me? We can do Plan 42."

"Sure, just tell me when you're ready."

"Hn."

Everybody watched as sasuke dumped an armful of tomatoes into Naruto's arms. Once they nodded at each other, Naruto began throwing them at the missing nin.

Sasuke took a deep breath. " _Katon! Goukakyuu No Jutsu!"_ Hitting the tomatoes with fire, it caused a shower of flaming tomatoes to fly towards the missing nin.

Shouting curses at the genin, the Demon of the Hidden Mist began to dodge the projectiles, every so often putting up walls of water to douse the flames.

"What is wrong with these genin! This is ridiculous! Nobody makes a fool of the Demon of the Hidden Mist!" _If this keeps up, I don't think I'd want to fight them any longer_

Landing on the ground in front of the genin, Zabuza was surprised to see the blonde's hand in front of his face.

"Give us a sec."

Turning towards his pink haired teammate, Naruto asked "Are you done yet?"

"Almost, almost, just finishing it up."

"Hn."

"Yes Sasuke, there are spots for signatures."

"Hn."

"Really? Never thought of that. We'll do that with the Hokage."

Zabuza stared in confusion. "You understand that?"

Sakura nodded. "He was just wondering if we need an official seal on it. We can do that later."

Kakashi turned to Zabuza. "When you're with these kids all the time, you learn how to speak and understand "Grunt".

"Here!"

Zabuza whirled around. Instead of the blonde's hand in his face, the pinky was holding a...contract? Reading it through, it did indeed sound tempting.

"So what you're saying is, I'll still get paid as much as Gato promised me, help kill him in the process, and escape Mist ANBU by becoming an official nin of Konoha?"

"Pretty much."

"Hn."

"Oh yea, your partner can come too, we sensed him in the trees a while back."

"Hn!"

"Fine fine, Sasuke sensed him."

Zabuza was shocked. This was a perfect opportunity to start anew! Even giving him a better chance to stop the current Mizukage.

"Deal."

 _SPLAT!_

"Haha! Still managed to get you with a tomato though!"

"Come here you little-"

 _SPLAT!_

"Aargh!"

Kakashi and Tazuna watched as the genin ran around with the A-Rank missing nin. Tazuna turned to Kakashi.

"Don't even ask." Kakashi said, before Tazuna got a chance. "I questioned it all myself for a while, but I ended up nowhere. It's best not to get too involved in their antics."

Tazuna nodded, and the two continued walking.

 **Hey guys, thanks for the support in this new series! Your feedback is appreciated! Next time, we either got some bell test action, or maybe some team 7 and team Gai introductions! You can request which one you would like to see first, but don't worry, both will show up anyways! See you next time!**


	3. The Bell Test

**Forgot to mention this earlier guys! Unfortunately, I don't own Naruto! All credit goes to Masashi Kishimoto for being the creator!  
**

* * *

Sitting in the classroom, three future genin hopefuls were sitting around one of the seats. After about an hour of waiting for their sensei, Naruto had pulled out a pack of cards from his jacket pocket. Reaching into his pack, Sasuke proceeded to bring out various small snacks and candies, while Sakura brought out some drinks.

"Go fish anyone?"

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was walking through the hallways of the Academy, perfectly aware that he is 3 hours late to picking up his genin hopefuls. _Lets see here. A hyperactive, talentless blonde, a brooding revenge filled brat, and a fangirl ninja wannabe. Obito, Rin, Sensei, it looks like another year is going to pass without me as a sensei._

Coming to the classroom door, he stared at the slightly open crack it had. _Naruto probably is trying to play some silly prank, I guess I'll just go with it._

Pushing open the door, Kakashi had let his guard down enough to be surprised at tripping over some ninja wire, set off a barrage of water balloons, and…

The tips of his hair was somehow pink. How on earth did they manage that!?

Glaring at the genins, he realised they were still ignoring him. They seemed to be playing, a kid's card game? Whatever.

"My first impression of you, is-"

"Hold it there!" Sakura shouted. Turning away from their game. "Your impression of us?! What about our impression of you! What shinobi, much less a shinobi sensei, comes three hours late?! Now excuse me while we finish up our game."

Kakashi gawked. Did that pink haired supposed fangirl just give him such a lecture?

"Fine. Then meet me up on the roof in 5 minutes." With that, he _shunshined_ away.

 _10 minutes later…_

"How do you get so good at something like Go Fish? I mean, what kind of practice is there for a game like that?!"

"Hn."

"Oh please, it's not just natural talent."

"Say Naruto, isn't that what you said about gambling?"

"Heheh Sakura, I guess."

"Hn."

"Fine, fine! Just forget it."

Kakashi glared. "You're late."

Sasuke scoffed. "You're one to talk."

Kakashi sighed. _I don't even have the will to do introductions now. I just want to get this over with._

" The three of you already know each other, your characteristics are nothing like that academy profiles, and I'm your jounin sensei Hatake Kakashi."

"Are you gonna give us a genin exam?"

"Yes, yes, wait, how did you know that?"

"Older brother, remember?"

"Alright then. I want you all to be at training ground 7 tomorrow morning at 8. I'd suggest that you don't eat breakfast, or else you will puke. Goodbye!" Kakashi poofed out of existence.

"We gonna eat?"

"Yea, there's no way I'm missing food."

"Hn."

* * *

The next morning at 9:30am, we see our three troublemakers having a picnic at training ground 7. Not to mention a bit of reading material, and a familiar pack of go fish cards.

"Is attack plan 9 ready?"

"Hn."

"Alright, we'll just have to wait for sensei to show up then."

"How can anyone be so late?"

"Hn."

"Doesn't matter. Oh, and go fish."

"Hn!"

 _POOF!_

"Good morning my cute genins! Are your ready to start your genin test?"

"Excited, aren't we?"

"...We guess."

Kakashi's smile never wavered. "Alright!" He pulled out two bells. "Your task is to get these two bells from me. As you can see, there are only two. That means, one of you will fail the test and be sent back to the academy!"

They blinked.

"Ahem. Well, I want you to come at me with the intent to kill, or you'll get nowhere near to getting the bells. Don't worry, I can take it."

"We know you can! You're a jounin for Kami's sake!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Alright. Well on top of that, whoever doesn't manage to get a bell won't be able to have any lunch either. We'll be timing an hour until noon."

Expecting to hear their stomachs growling, he was surprised to see Naruto give a loud burp.

"Don't worry about that, we already ate."

...

...

...

Kakashi sighed. "Alright, we start in 3...2...1...go!"

The genin were gone.

 _Well I better go find them then. They can't have figured out the meaning behind the test already?_

* * *

"He's almost in position."

"Shhh, or he'll hear you!"

Kakashi continued walking through the trees. He could feel the slight presence of chakra around the forest. The only thing. There were a _lot_ of small chakra signatures around him. He'd estimate it at about a good 100, maybe 150. Coming at one, he saw that it was Naruto. Appearing behind him, he whispered. "Found you."

Naruto, attempting to turn around and hit him, got caught by a light punch to his stomach, and knocking the breath out of him.

 _POOF!_

The _Kage Bunshin_ disappeared and Kakashi was caught in an explosion of paint.

 _Was that a Kage Bunshin with seals holding paint? That can't be…_

A note was left where the Naruto clone was standing. It read, 'From Sakura'.

"I guess they did figure it out. It's not like they were any different then the academy reports. I'll have to go see the Sandaime after this."

"Hey Kakashi sensei!"

"Naruto-!"

 _POOF!_

* * *

At the end of the hour, Kakashi was exhausted. Spending the entire time dodging booby trapped Naruto clones, he believes he did pretty well. He still had the bells too for that fact. Though he was pretty impressed. There were many traps laid around by Sasuke obviously, some of those seals on the clones were from Sakura, and Naruto was obviously the one sacrificing all those clones.

Though not once did any of them try to get a bell.

Looking at the genin. He asked, "So you knew that teamwork was the meaning of the test."

"Yep! We also wanted to play with you for a bit. Call it payback if you will."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "None of you got a bell, so I'd make this whole speech about not eating lunch, but that's pointless too."

"Hnnnn."

"Yeah, whatever. So that means we are ninja now sensei?" Naruto asked, jumping up and down on the spot."

"Yes."

"YIPPEE!" Naruto shouted. "Ramen to celebrate!"

"Hn."

"Yes, we can have a tomato basket Sasuke. No need to get so riled up."

"Hn."

"Yes, just look at you! You need to calm down! What about your public image that you need to show off? Nobody would recognize you anymore!"

Sakura and Kakashi looked at Sasuke. He hasn't even moved. Much less did anything than grunt.

Kakashi continued his bored look. "I'm going to go see the Hokage. Meet here tomorrow at 7:00am for our first mission."

"Okay! See you at 10!" His genin called back, already running off.

Kakashi grumbled and _Shunshined_ away. _Why do I have a feeling this is going to be more of a pain than I expected?_

* * *

 **Hey guys! Thanks for tuning in! I appreciate the feedback and support that you have given me. Coming up next, an early introduction with Team Gai! Now won't that be fun. See you next time!  
**


	4. Story of Orange

**Unfortunately, I don't own Naruto. So all credits go to the creator Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

"Oiii brats. I want to speak to ya!"

The genin of team 7 turned around, staring as Zabuza was swinging his sword around in the air. No surprise that he was being given a pretty large space in the crowded , they headed over.

"What do you want? Can't you see we're busy doing nothing?"

"Naruto, we're not-"

" _Shhhhhh! He's creeping me out! He seems nuts!"_

"Hn."

"Ehhhh! We're not alike! I'm not some assassin topless guy who can't dodge tomatoes!"

"Hey! I can still hear you!" Zabuza yelled, pointing his sword at them. "Now listen to what I have to say!"

The three shut up, much to Zabuza's pleasure.

"Alright, so here is how it is. You…" Zabuza addressed Naruto, pointing his finger at him. "Need a new change of clothes."

…

"WHAT! Why! What's wrong with this beautiful orange! I love this colour, it suits me! I mean, who would I be without it! No! I refuse! I'd rather DIE than wear something other than orange! It's what I used to have, and it will be what I continue to have! So that's it! Matter dropped! Or else I'll-!"

Sasuke had his hand over Naruto's mouth. He looked at Zabuza straight in the eyes. "Please." He spoke ever so softly. "We've been trying to say it all year. Thanks for taking the fall."

Zabuza shivered at the stare and voice. _Is this how he always talks when he isn't grunting?_

Seeing everyone staring at him expectantly, Naruto pouted and crossed his arms. Noticing this, Sasuke let Naruto speak again.

"Fine fine, but we'll get nowhere, just you wait and see."

* * *

The group of three genin plus one Missing Nin turned Konoha Jounin were walking up to their first store. Sakura turned to Zabuza.

"Where's Haku? We haven't seen him since we came back to Konoha."

Zabuza turned to her. "Haku is being initiated as a chunin today. You didn't see him because he was being tested for his rank."

Sakura nodded. "Well, we're finally here."

The four ninja enter the store.

The owner of the shop turned towards the door as the group entering, eyes closed with a large grin. "Welcome! Welcome! We have a great discount today on some of our products!"

She opened her eyes. "Oh, if it isn't the last Uchiha! How are you young sir! We have just some things that you may need at an extended discount hm? Oh! Who do you have with you today?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and fully entered the shop. Zabuza, Sakura and Naruto entered one by one. The shop owner greeted them all cheerfully until her eyes fell on the last person.

"What is THIS thing doing in here!" She screeched, to the shock of the rest of the group. "We don't serve demon filth in this store! Get out! Get out! How dare you disgrace the last Uchiha and his company with your presence! So leave, and don't come back in!"

Naruto sighed. It was to be expected. He may seem as a happy, insane, upbeat kid all the time, but even that can't stop how he's treated by the villagers. They probably think it is his sanity going faster. That they'll have an 'insane demon' on their hands. He turned and began walking out of the store, the words of the owner following after him.

Only to be stopped by Sakura.

The store owner huffed. "Why stop him? He's nothing but demon tra-"

 _SPLAT!_

Zabuza smirked. He could recognize that sound, totally not from experience. Then again, it's a lot nicer way to do it then what he had in store for the old lady.

The shop owner reached up, and smeared off… tomato?

She turned to Sasuke. "L-l-ord U-u-u-chiha? She stammered. "Is s-s-omething wrong?"

Sasuke growled. "Of course something's wrong! Is this how you treat your customers, because it's sickening! I can't believe you have the nerve to do something like that!"

The lady stepped back. "But I thought…"

"You thought nothing!" Sasuke yelled, to everyone's continued surprise. Even a certain one eyed jounin who'd been watching the encounter from... Wherever he is.

"You're just a stupid old hag who can't tell that a cup holding water is not the water now itself, or a kunai in a scroll doesn't make the scroll a kunai! I'm ashamed, and you can bet that I won't come here to shop ever again!"

Sasuke grabbed his teammates arms and dragged them out. Zabuza, after giving the lady a glare that could set fire to water, joined them shortly after.

* * *

Currently, the party of four were sitting on top of the Yondaime's head. Sakura turned to Naruto. "Is this why you never wear anything but orange? Is this the same for ALL the shops? Naruto, please, maybe we could help."

Naruto sighed. "It's always the same, no matter where I go in this village, I get kicked out. The one time I was sold anything here was when I got these jumpsuits. I got a bunch, sure, cause I was afraid. Even though the price of them was sky high, and I barely scraped through. It's almost like they signify me, a trophy for my hard efforts and patience. That no matter what happens to me, I know I could survive, and I did. I mean, look where I am today! Heh heh."

He turned away from them. And stood up. He took a few steps and stopped. "So please, let me keep what makes me… me. It's one of the few things I cherish most, just like you all."

Letting those words sink in, he continued walking away. The faces of those left behind showing their sadness, knowing that, there's more to the 'bubbly, happy friend' that they love.

"Well I wasn't thinking it would go to this. I didn't know it meant so much to him, more than just loving the colour. Now that I know this, I wish I didn't start this." Zabuza gave a long sigh, and stood up. "I'm going to go see Haku, maybe talk to the Hokage as well. Take care you little brats."

He _shunshined_ away.

Sasuke and Sakura continued to sit, thinking, long after the sun went down. Knowing that in the future, they will always be there for their friend, no matter what. For despite what he thinks, he isn't alone.

* * *

 **Hey guys, I know that you've been waiting, but please be patient! I still gotta balance school for my final week! Anyways, you may notice an obvious change in mood in this one shot. Which is a lot more depressing. I can't have endless happiness, now can I? Sorry though, if this isn't your type of fanfic, and thanks for the support everyone!**


	5. A Youthful Encounter!

**I don't own Naruto! All the credit goes to Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

The genin of teams 7 and 8 were walking through the street, in a mixture of loud and quiet. Kiba and Naruto were arguing about something the others didn't really care about. Sakura and Hinata were quietly discussing what the boys dismissed as "girl things", and for the last two, were silently trudging behind.

Sasuke looked at Shino. "Where's your sensei? Kakashi had told us that we were supposed to work with you guys a bit today. So he'd leave us in your 'care'."

Shino shrugged. "I have a hypothesize that the jounin senseis of both our teams 7 and 8 have mutually agreed that it would be advantageous for us to spend the day together. Likely to get to know one another, or possibly to recognize the most preeminent teamwork."

Kiba, up ahead, let out a sigh. "Shino, English, please! I didn't understand anything aside from we're stuck here together!"

Naruto smirked. "Well dog brain, I think it means we get to spend the day annoying you rather than our own sensei. I honestly bet this whole thing was his idea anyways."

Up in the trees, Kurenai gave a deadpan stare to Kakashi, who just replied with an eye smile.

All of a sudden, Naruto stopped walking. Seeing this, both Sasuke and Sakura stopped as well. Team 8 looked at them curiously, but followed suit.

Sakura cleared her throat. "What's wrong Naruto?" At this time, it was far too early for any civilian to be out and about, and they had only seen a few other ninja along the way.

Naruto growled. "Something's coming, and when I say coming, it's coming _fast_."

Team 8 braced themselves. They'd take caution whenever necessary. Hinata decided to activate her byakugan to try to get a better look.

"There seems to be two figures. One shorter and one taller. The way they're going, it almost reminds me as if they were racing?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, and Sasuke brought out a small red scroll. "Tomatoes are ready to go."

Everyone nodded and jumped to the side of the road, waiting for the newcomers to arrive. All of a sudden, Sasuke's sharingan caught movement, and he immediately threw the tomato. It hit a smaller figure on the side, knocking them off balance in plain sight for everyone to see.

Everyone went over to the person, faces in different expressions of horror. This green "thing" seemed to be a genin. A Konoha genin at that.

Sakura shivered as she saw his eyebrows, pointing the kunai at him she yelled. "Get rid of it! Get rid of it!"

Naruto started laughing. "Is the other one like this too? Oh, I bet Kakashi Sensei would love something like this! Let's put him in a box with a bow and send it over to him! Maybe we can get the other one too, I bet he'd faint at that!"

Kurenai was trying her hardest not to laugh, watching Kakashi shiver in horror at a wrapped up Guy and Lee in a box at his door came up into his mind. Oh, this isn't going to go well.

Naruto smirked as another green blur stopped in front of them. Revealing themself to be none other than Guy, the jounin sensei of team 9. "Lee! I see you have met some new people? Are these your friends?!"

Before anyone could say anything, the green thing from the ground shot up with tears in his eyes. "Yes Guy-Sensei! They are now my new friends! I will try my hardest to protect them!" He looked at Sakura. "I will also fight for your love my dear! You are as beautiful as a freshly fallen blossom from the most precious cherry blossom tree!"

Sakura stared at Lee for just a moment, before she turned around and puked in the bushes.

Naruto grinned. "This is perfect!" Pulling out some ribbon from… who knows where, he asked. "Can I wrap you up as a present for my jounin sensei? I'm sure Kakashi would love you guys as a gift!"

Guy started at that. "Kakashi? You know of my rival? Wait, you're his cute genin! This is such a youthful encounter!"

Naruto stood there. Staring.

"What?"

Guy flashed his trademark grin and gave Naruto a thumbs up. "It was perfect that on this youthful day we got to meet some of my eternal rival's students! If we don't manage to meet more often, I'll run 1000 laps around Konoha on my bare hands! If I cannot do that, I'll do 2000 sit ups! If I can't do 2000 sit ups, I'll do 2500 push ups, if I can-"

"RUN!" Naruto screamed. Practically pulling out his hair. "We will not be able to give this to Kakashi! We won't be able to even get close! We have to save ourselves, every genin for themselves!"

At that very moment, Guy finished his rant. Lee, with stars in his eyes, began the praise.

"Guy Sensei! That's amazing!"

"I know Lee!"

"Guy Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy Sensei!"

"Lee!"

As they embraced, a sunset appears behind them, bathing them in a light like no other. Sakura, Sasuke, and Hinata all tried to dispel the genjutsu, but it was far too powerful. Kiba was trying to cover both his ears and eyes, Shino was nowhere to be seen, and Naruto was having a full blown attack.

"We're all gonna die! I'll never get to do so many things I was ever hoping to do!"

At this point, Sasuke tried a last ditch effort. Throwing all the tomatoes he had, he mustered all he could and screamed.

"SCATTER!"

It was quiet for a few seconds, then genin took off everywhere, running in all directions.

Lee looked at Guy. "What amazing friends! They all seem to enjoy being as youthful as us! Just look at them go!"

Guy grinned at Lee. "It appears so Lee! Come, let us finish our youthful run! Then we could go talk to Kakashi about his wonderful genin! Maybe I could go for another challenge?"

Kurenai left her hiding spot, to go look for her team, while Kakashi laughed. He knew his genins deserved something like that. It was payback for all the pain that they gave him! Though maybe he had gone a bit far. Guy _was_ a bit too much for even him to handle. Though he was glad he'd never get a ribboned up Guy and Lee on his doorstep, he'd die on the spot.

Kakashi headed out in search of his scattered students, planning on asking them on how their day with team 8 went. Maybe though, he'd sign them up for a training period under Guy's group. That would be a quite interesting sight.

Kakashi snickered to himself, pleased with the morning's results.

"OIIIII! KAKASHIIIIII!"

Kakashi turned around, knowing full well who it was.

Then fainted.

For Guy was standing directly behind him, and had partially wrapped some ribbon around himself, touching it off with a bow on top of his head. After Naruto had dropped the ribbon while running off, he decided he'd do them such a good favour. For any friend of Lee is a friend of Guy!

"YOSH!"

* * *

 **Thank you all for being so patient with me, despite my unavailability to upload recently, but we're back on track! See ya next time!**


	6. Dear Brother Iruka

**Not from main Story Line Guys! This is just a side story-thing! I don't own Naruto all credits to** **Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

I'm going to be heading out to the front lines of the war. I know it's pretty dangerous, and I know you wouldn't like it, so that's why I never told you sooner. It is going to be tough, it's going to be painful, and people will die. But I'm older now! There's no need for you to worry, they say I'm one of the strongest ninja out there! I can help them win in no time! Sakura has to stay a bit back from the front lines though, because she was trained to be more of a medic. But Sasuke is with me, and we'll be the best fighters out there! I'll get back to you soon!

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

As I said before, it was pretty dangerous. Even with me and Sasuke out there, we only make little progress at a time. I have seen far enough death for enough lifetimes, but at this point, I have become practically numb to it. I can't tell whether that's good or bad.

Sasuke got hurt earlier too, we're going to have to fall back and take him to the medics. As people said out there, we can't lose one of our best fighters. We're currently stuck in the middle of battle though, so I believe we're going to have a difficult time getting out. It might be a while, so I may not write too soon. See you later!

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

It's been quite a while since I've seen you hasn't it? The next time I see you, you may not even recognize me! As you know, I was fighting on the front lines of the war, along with many other ninja ranging from both genin to ANBU. It's sure been lonely though.

Last I wrote you, Sasuke and I were trying to fall back to the medics, but we couldn't make it there. There was far too many enemies to deal with. So we tried to lay low in some of the surrounding forests, and deal with what food we had in our bags, scrolls, and soldier pills. We only had minimal bandaging, so Sasuke had to make do with what we had. Hopefully I'll get to go visit you soon, I really miss you.

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

Sasuke is dead.

Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

The war has been won, and we came out victorious. Many have praised me for turning the tides, but now I believe I am feared even more. Sasuke's death brought out a rage in me that I have never felt before. I transformed and decimated the enemy. I showed no mercy, even killing some of our own. How I managed to turn back before the transformation was complete, baffles even me. Though I barely see this as a blessing. For I am not done yet.

While we were pushing the front lines, the enemy decided to sneak attack the medics' camps. Nobody stood a change, and by the time we returned back, there was nothing left.

I buried both Sasuke and Sakura today. It's not something I would ever imagine myself doing. I miss you Iruka, I just want to be back in your arms, not out in the battle field! There was not point in this war, and there will never be. It's a shame that this is what became of our world.

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

They are saying down the lines, and rumors have spread, that I'm to be the next Hokage. Is that really something that they should give to me? It was once a dream, but it had my friends next to me, by my side. Not laying in the battle field. I just want to go home.

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Dear Brother Iruka,

I am home! I missed you so, and I'm going to visit you first thing in the morning. What's left of our group of friends will be joining me as well. They also wish to see our favourite teacher and brother. It'll be a great reunion after all this, don't you think? See you in the morning!

Your Forever Little Brother, Naruto.

* * *

Naruto stood by Shikamaru and Hinata. In his hand a scroll, and both his friends laying a hand on each of his shoulders. Naruto gave a small smile and knelt down, laying the scroll by an old detailed tombstone. Around it were flowers and small gifts, showing that they were very much loved. Though the tombstone was old, back from Naruto's academy days. To be exact, his last academy day.

"Dear Brother Iruka." Naruto whispered. The name on the grave bringing tears to his eyes.

"I'm home."

* * *

 **Sad, sad and sad. As you all can guess, Iruka never made it out of the Mizuki incident alive. Though he was still loved by many, and had that impact unto Naruto even many years into the future, when Naruto is all grown up. This itself is a series of letters to Iruka that Naruto wrote while on the field, who vowed to return to Konoha to give them to his old teacher. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	7. All In The Head - Beginning Of Insanity

**I don't own anything! All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

Some say, the day Naruto met the Kyuubi, he had changed.

Others of course, say he was never different from the very beginning.

Naruto now, no longer cares.

* * *

A young boy, no older than 5, was running through the streets of Konoha, on the night of the festival of Kyuubi's defeat. He was hoping to see some of he stalls and events that the villagers had on the night each year. What made it even better, it was on his birthday! So that was what Naruto did, running out into the night full of excitement. Though what he shouldn't of done, was attract the attention of some of the villagers.

"Would you look at that!" One of them sneered. "The little Kyuubi has come out to play!"

The second gave out a barking laugh. "Of all days to come out, gotta admit the little demon has guts!"

The third smirked. "How about we show the fox why it should fear us. We can't have a wild animal running loose, can we?"

The others nodded in agreement, and began to follow the young jinchuuriki.

* * *

Naruto was running about gleefully, not caring a bit that he got nasty glares, or vendors wouldn't let him get close. Just looking was enough for him. What did stick at the back of his mind though, was that the people he passed earlier were a bit behind him, and he remembered them being near his apartment, so that can't be good.

So deciding to take on an air of caution, Naruto tried to make his path much more twisted, even running down alleys into the next street, just to see if he could lose them. Taking a breather in one of the alley's he smirked. "I bet I lost those creepy stalkers now!"

"Ohh _really_?"

Naruto yelped and turned around, to see two of the men behind him. Stumbling backwards he asked, "How could you find me? I made sure to twist and turn soooo much! How did you keep up?!"

Naruto felt a hand come from behind and grab his hair. The third guy smiled.

"Because we aren't normal citizens, aren't we?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "You guys are...are…"

The man grinned. "Yes demon.

We are _Ninja_."

* * *

Naruto screamed as another kunai was thrown at him, hitting it's mark. It had become quickly apparent that he could heal extremely fast, but there was no pain resistance to come with it. The men had quickly turned this into a target practice, or a game. Naruto, despite his healing abilities, could do nothing to stop them. It was all he could do to try to avoid the deadly projectiles. Though even if he did have advanced healing powers, he is still a 5 year old child.

Eventually, he simply passed out from the pain.

* * *

Naruto woke up, noticing he was in a giant sewer. His first thought being, ' _why did those men dump me here?'_ Though he figured he could walk about for a bit, seeing where he is.

"Hello!?" He called out, walking onward through the sewer. "Anybody here? Old man Hokage?"

There was a deep rumbling in the distance, prompting the young boy to stop in his tracks. "Uhm… H-here doggy doggy?" Naruto was getting worried. ' _Where was he?'_

Knowing that forward is the only way to go, he went forward. Reaching what seems to be a long "hallway" of the sewer, he could see that it opens up at the end. At this point, the rumbling is terrifyingly loud, and Naruto was scared stiff.

"Old man Hokage! Please tell me you're here! I'm scared!"

The rumbling stopped, and a deep voice replaced it. " **Come here child."**

Naruto jumped in surprise. Then slowly made his way over to the opening. Reaching the entrance way, he looked around the large room, taking note of the giant cage-like bars.

"Hello, was someone here? I thought I heard a voice?"

There was the sound of something moving behind the bars, and it sounded big. Naruto was afraid to go near them, but felt a bit of safety knowing those bars were there.

" **Of course there is someone here brat! You are in my presence! The presence of the 9 tailed fox… Kyuubi!"**

"KYUUBI!?" Naruto shrieked. "I thought the Fourth killed you!"

There was a barking laugh. " **What, kill something like me? A being of pure chakra? I laugh at the very idea! Now, there is something that I wish to speak with you about boy."**

Naruto shivered, ' _this is too much! I need to find the Old man! The Hokage can defeat the Kyuubi! I just have to get out of here to warn everyone!'_

The Kyuubi put his chin on his hand, waiting for Naruto to calm down. Hearing every word Naruto was thinking.

" **Child, your Hokage can do nothing to me right now. I am not in the physical world. I am sealed away. Sealed away in you of all brats."**

"How'd you know what I was thinking!?"

" **I can hear thoughts."**

"Oh."

" **Yeah."**

"So really?" Naruto stared. This was unexpected, but that means… "This is why everyone hates me!?"

" **Indeed brat, because I am sealed inside of you, you are automatically thought of as being the Kyuubi itself. Not that I'd ever let myself get to that much of a state of weakness anyways."**

Naruto huffed and turned his back to the cage. "I'm not weak."

The Kyuubi scoffed. " **Yeah right brat, all you could is run from these people you call villagers. Ninja or not. You're only here because I called you in after you passed out!"**

Naruto looked back at the Kyuubi. "You called me in here? Why'd you do that?"

The Kyuubi smirked. " **To offer you a deal."**

This peaked Naruto's interest. "What kind of deal?"

Putting his head to Naruto's level, the Kyuubi replied. " **I like you brat, so I don't want you to die. Though I don't want to live in a container that is weak either. I wish to make you stronger than those other fools."**

"Make me stronger? Wow! Does this mean you're going to teach me to be the best ninja in the whole world?"

" **Yes, and no child. What I want you to do is rip off a portion of this piece of paper on the cage. It's the seal. When you do that, part of my power flows into you, making you stronger. Make sure you don't rip the whole thing off though, I'm not sure you would be able to handle too much power at once."**

Naruto was jumping up and down. "You can count on me!" _I don't know what problem everyone has with the Kyuubi, he's awesome!_

Running over to the seal, part of the sewer water lifted him up. Grabbing one corner, he proceeded to rip off a portion of the seal. At the same time, there was a flash of light, and Naruto was knocked back to the floor.

Opening his eyes,, Naruto saw a man standing over him. "You-you are the Fourth Hokage!"

Minato smiled, "that's right, and I'm also your father, Naruto."

The Kyuubi pounded the floor. " **You IDIOT! Do you have ANY idea what you just did?! You interrupted the process of this power exchange! Who knows what could happen now! And you just come along and drop this on him? How did you ever become Hokage?!"**

Minato jumped at the accusation in the Kyuubi's voice, and turned back to Naruto, who began laughing. "Naruto, are you alright?"

The small boy was still sitting in the water of the sewer, hair shadowing his face as he laughed. "This exchange of power really did help! Not only that, but it did make me smarter too! You're the one who sealed the Kyuubi into me, weren't you Fourth Hokage?"

Minato frowned. "Yes, yes I did."

Naruto sighed. "It was the most likely outcome I guess. Though you _really_ messed up this time didn't ya. Hahahaha!"

Taking a step towards Naruto, he asked, "How so?"

"By disrupting the process, I can feel it as we speak, while I have gained so much incredible skills and powers, I have also lost some things. I CAN FEEL IT FOURTH HOKAGE! I CAN FEEL MY SANITY LEAVING ME!"

Minato jumped, surprised at the outburst, and watched as Naruto fell into another bout of giggles. He sighed. "I'm sorry Naruto, I was indeed wrong, and I must wrong you once again. My time here is almost up, and this is how I leave you."

Turning to the Kyuubi, Minato never thought he would have to say this. "Take care of my son, please, I'm not sure how these changes will affect him. Help him through it."

Taking the Kyuubi's nod as an affirmative, Minato could feel himself fading away.

"Goodbye my son, know that I will always love you, no matter what becomes of you."

The Fourth Hokage faded out of the mindscape, leaving only the sound of laughter behind.

Looking at Naruto, the Kyuubi sighed. " **Well, let's get to work then."**

"Hahahaha! Heh-eh, hahahaha! Oh, this is great! Hee hee!"

The Kyuubi poked his claws through the space in the cage, and flicked the giggling Jinchuuriki. Knocking him into the air. " **Shut up brat before I make you."**

"Yes." Naruto smirked. "Let's get strong!"

* * *

 **Hey Guys! Thanks for reading. Here is a bit of insight to how Naruto came to be how he is today! We kinda have a moment where the Fourth Hokage did a biiiig mistake, but hey, how was he supposed to know? And what kind of father just leaves like that? Way to brush his problems on the Kyuubi, am I right? See you all next time!**


	8. Enter, The Treasure Hunting Ninja!

**Unfortunately, I don't own Naruto. So all credits go to the creator Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

Team 7 was waiting in their usual spot by the bridge for their sensei to arrive. Each doing their own thing, it was hard for both Sasuke and Sakura to not get distracted by Naruto's excited mumbling and running about with a large piece of paper in his hands. Having enough, Sakura finally called out to him.

"Naruto! What's got you all worked up?"

Stopping immediately, Naruto grinned. "This is what!"

Holding up the piece of paper, the two other genin leaned close to get a better look.

"Hn?"

"That Sasuke, is what's known as a treasure map. If we can find the treasure, we'll be rich! Heh heh heh!"

Sakura perked up. "Where'd you get this Naruto?"

Naruto chuckled. "I'm glad you asked!" Coming closer to the two he whispered, "The ANBU had gotten a hold of this on one of their missions, I kinda heard them talking about it between themselves. So I kinda snuck in and…"

"Stole it."

"Nononono", Naruto rushed backwards. "I didn't steal it, I just well, _borrowed it._ It's a first come first serve, so we'll get to it first, right guys?"

"Hn."

"No Sasuke, Kakashi won't be allowed to get in on this, we'll ditch him before he arrives."

"Fine then." Sasuke grunted.

Both turned to Sakura, expecting looks on their faces. She rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm coming, when can I pass up a chance like this?"

Naruto cheered and put on his adventurer's hat, and proceeded to pull out a metal detector out of… nowhere.

"Let's GO!"

With that, the three genin left their meeting area in search for hidden treasure, already imagining what each will use it for.

* * *

A certain one-eyed jounin _poofed!_ Onto the bridge, excuse already coming out as second nature. Except …

"Where is everyone!?"

* * *

The three treasure hunters made their way down the streets of Konoha, following the map. Naruto was looking at it intently, while the other two were eating some ice cream.

"Okayy, so it's this way, turn there, keep going to there…"

"Naruto, do you have any idea where you are going?"

"Yes yes yes, a right here, and a left there…"

"Hn."

"Was that a turn there? Huh, maybe it was back at the previous corner. Hmm, I'd like to avoid going through that alley there…"

"Naruto! Hello?!"

Naruto jumped at the yell in his ear, and turned to Sakura. "Hey Sakura, sorry if I was a bit distracted, you should have said something earlier."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just let me read the map Naruto."

"Why?"

"Cause I know this part of the village better than you do."

…

"...fine."

Handing the map over to Sasuke, the young Uchiha quickly read the directions, and nodded with a grunt. "Follow me."

And so they did.

* * *

Kakashi walked through the crowd in the village, silently fuming. Having noticed this, the villagers had given him a wide berth not wanting to be in the way of his anger.

' _Where are those genin? They weren't at training ground 7, or at any of their favourite places. Oh when I see them, they'll be getting some hefty D ranks for sure! Hehehe hahahaha!"_

Kakashi continued to giggle to himself, until he noticed that the once busy street, was empty aside from him. He sighed. "They're rubbing off of me more than I thought."

* * *

Back with the genin of team 7, Sasuke had determined that taking the alleys would be the quickest route. Naruto hastily had pulled a whip out of thin air _for protection, as he said._ He was currently cracking the whip loudly enough to scare anything that he would find a dangerous foe.

Near the outskirts of the village, they were in one of the larger alleys almost connecting to the border of the village. Taking note of this, Sasuke looked at the map once more, and abruptly stopped.

Sakura, realising a moment too late, bumped into him.

Naruto, too busy with his whip, followed right after.

"OI?! What's the deal man?!"

"Hn."

Sakura cheered. "Here? Great! Let's dig!"

Three shovels poofed into existence, courtesy of Naruto, and all three began digging in the end of the alley.

Naruto was grinning. "What do you think we'll find? Ancient weapons, enough money for a lifetime? Secret hidden scrolls?"

"Well I sure hope it's some kind of money." Sakura panted.

"Hn." Grunted Sasuke.

Naruto renewed his efforts. Digging further and further down until a loud clang! was heard. Cheering, he called. "I found it! I found it guys!"

The other two genin coming over, they all began digging up what looked to be a metal box. Eyeing the lock on it, Sasuke murmured, "we're gonna have to break it open."

"That's fine." Naruto replied. "As long as we find out what's inside."

Having dug out the box enough, the three genin lifted it out of the hole, and onto solid ground. Sasuke pulled out a kunai, and broke the lock with a powerful swing. Pushing it open, the three genin stared at its contents.

Reaching in, Naruto pulled out a…

"A mask?" Naruto questioned. "Why would a treasure map lead us to masks."

Both Sasuke and Sakura reached in, pulling out the rest of the masks. Looking at them Sakura mentioned, "there's four masks. Maybe we could give one to sensei as well."

Naruto grinned. "That's excellent! We could be the 'mysterious' team, right guys?"

Sasuke studied the masks. "Each one represents an animal, sort of like the ANBU masks."

"Which animals are these then?"

"Well, not exactly animals so to speak, but kind of in a way? We have a mask which looks like a Dragon, a Phoenix, this one looks like Cerberus, and the last one is a Chimera."

Sakura nodded. "We could divide them like this, Naruto can have the Chimera, Kakashi the Cerberus, you can have the Dragon Sasuke, which leaves me with the Phoenix."

Both boys nodded. "Sounds good." Naruto commented. "Hn." Sasuke exclaimed.

* * *

Kakashi was done with the day. He was currently sitting with the sensei of team 10, Asuma Sarutobi. "I'm not sure I can handle being these genin's sensei Asuma, I mean, they even bailed out on me today."

Asuma himself sighed. "Don't worry Kakashi, I heard that even though they make you suffer, they still both like and respect you. A lot of word gets around with those genins nowadays."

Kakashi grumbled and put his head in his arms. "They better have a good reason for this. Even if they do have respect for me and all, this is a poor way of showing it."

Asuma stood from his seat opposite Kakashi. "Well Kakashi, I gotta go. Hope you do better with your genin tomorrow."

Kakashi waved him off, and was about ready to head home himself. Until he heard a familiar call.

"Hey sensei!"

Blinking in surprise, he turned around to come across the sight of his three genin wearing masks. Though not just any mask…

"Where'd you get those?!"

"Oh y'know, treasure hunting and all."

...

"What?"

"Well okay then... those are ancient masks you three. In those times, these masks were made to inflict such fear into their enemies. Some say that chakra helps bring that fear a little stronger."

"REALLY?!" All three yelled.

"Awesome!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura grinned. "This is amazing."

"Hn." It's kind of obvious who.

Sakura stepped forwards. "Sensei, we found 4 masks. The Chimera, Cerberus, Dragon, and Phoenix. Naruto's the Chimera, Sasuke's the Dragon, and I'm the Phoenix. We would like you to have one as well. So would you take the mask of the Cerberus?"

Kakashi stared in shock at his genin. ' _This is truly the showing of respect_. _They wish for me to be a part of this ragtag group that they have. I feel… such gratitude.'_ Kakashi nodded his head, and agreed.

"We deserve a nickname for our team." Naruto spoke up. "Something cool, mostly to do with our masks."

Kakashi looked at the blonde genin. "If you want a name, how about…

 _Team Myth_?"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading guys! Any reviews are appreciated! See you all next time, and don't forget, if you have any one-shot requests from these guys, I'd surely like to give a try! I'm also sure you're all wondering how something like that came to be buried under an alley in Konoha, but that's part of the mystery, isn't it?**


	9. The 'Hn' Wars

**I don't own Naruto everyone! Credit of this awesomeness is Masashi Kishimoto!**

 **Special thanks to _Flower princess_ for the request!**

* * *

Team 7 slept in an inn on the outskirts of fire country, returning from a completed mission from the last few weeks. All were sleeping soundly, or so it seemed.

One young Uchiha was still awake, deep in thought. He knew something was coming up, something he cannot miss, no matter the cause.

Sasuke glared at the ceiling, as if he could make two holes with his eyes alone, but the sharingan cannot do that. Yet. Naruto would probably find a way for him. He'll have to ask later.

Sighing, Sasuke changed into his clothes and prepared for the day. _It's already almost 5am, no point in going back to sleep now._

Taking one look at the calendar, he walked out the door to the lounge area of the inn. One day was imprinted in his mind, a location, a time, a purpose.

January 10th, Valley of the End, 10:00am, to win.

* * *

Kakashi knew something was wrong with his student. Sasuke was being quiet, more so than normal, as well as glaring at calendars every so often. Despite what others believe, he now gets along quite well with his genin, and very much enjoy the time he gets to spend and train with them. He doesn't regret having taken them on as students at all, despite the "hardships and frustration" he had felt initially with them. On the other hand, people have told him he changed as well, more like his genin, but he didn't mind. Though now was dealing with the issue about what was bothering his student, and it's time that it was fixed.

Team 7 were having a simple dinner as they walked towards Konoha. Sasuke having insisted many times that yes, tomato soup was simple. Perfect for a "on the way meal".

Everyone just went with it.

Though deciding now was the best time, Kakashi came up beside Sasuke. "Sasuke, may I ask you something?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Kakashi took it as a go ahead. "I haven't helped but notice that something coming up has been getting you agitated. You've constantly looked ready to murder every calendar we come by. Is there a reason to this behaviour?"

Sasuke now directed that glare at Kakashi. After a moment, he simply "Hn'd" and looked away.

Kakashi sighed. He was getting nowhere with the old "Uchiha attitude" that has somehow returned. So he called his next best weapons forward. "Naruto, Sakura, come here, there is something we must discuss with Sasuke. I hope you two are willing to help."

Naruto bounced over. "Of course Kakashi! We'd love to help Mr. Happy Go Lucky over here!"

"Except," Sakura pointed out. "He's anything but."

Both genin looked at their friend, and Naruto sighed. "Alright Sasuke, spill the beans or your tomatoes are being confiscated. Whatever is bothering you, we can bear it too."

Kakashi watched the exchange, and sighed in relief when the Uchiha muttered a small "fine". Listening well, he learned of what got the Uchiha so bothered.

"The Hn Wars? What is that?"

Sasuke "Hn'd" Receiving sweat drops from he looked at them and explained clearly.

"The Hn Wars was a Uchiha run event where whoever had the best Hns would win. The contestants had to be at least 10 years of age to participate and the event runs every 10 years. It has been now 10 years since the last, making the competition this coming 10th. This though is so sacred that even I can't avoid it, as there is another Uchiha still around able to participate."

Everyone looked at the Uchiha. ' _Thats a lot of 10's.'_

"What on earth kind of contest is that?!"

"Hn. One that I'll win."

Nobody commented on that.

* * *

"Kisame! We're leaving!"

"What! Where? Oi! Where do you think you're going? Itachi!"

* * *

As the day rolled by, Team 7 were sitting and having a meal where Sasuke lived, each preparing themselves for the competition that would soon take place upon the Uchiha grounds.

The meal was going smoothly and without a hitch, until…

'Knock! Knock!'

Naruto bounced up excitedly. "I'll get it! I'll get the door!" Naruto rushed to the door, and slightly opened it. "Who is it?"

Everyone stared at the doorway, seeing Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki standing there.

"Hereeeee's Itachi!" Itachi grinned.

Kisame slapped him upside the head. "That's not how you greet people!"

Itachi shrugged. "A greeting is a greeting."

Kakashi, getting over the shock first, cleared his throat. "So uh, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

Itachi nodded his head. "It's the year of the Hn Competition, I have come to go up against my dear little brother."

Next to him, Kisame was muttering furiously. "This is what we came into enemy territory for? A stupid competition?! If we're caught we're dead Itachi!"

Kisame glared as Itachi put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll be fine Kisame. They cannot hurt us." Itachi's monotone voice rang out.

Kisame didn't budge.

"We'll also be staying with my brother for the week."

.

.

.

"What?!"

"No!"

"Why cruel world?!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the opposition of Kisame, his brother, and… Naruto?

Kakashi, seeing that confusion cleared it up. "Naruto's been staying with Sasuke for a little while now, so he'd be here as well."

Itachi nodded in understanding. "I see." He turned towards Naruto. "Naruto, during this time, I hope you trust us enough under the same roof, as we have no intent at this moment to bring you in and extract your demon."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Oh wow, thanks, I'm honored."

"Don't mention it."

That being said, the two missing nin entered the building to the still shocked faces, having missed the pair of eyes trained on them from a distance away.

* * *

 _The Next Day…_

Naruto woke up to a pleasant aroma coming from downstairs, most likely the kitchen. Looking over to his clock, he gasped.

"9:00?! How did I even manage to sleep in that long?"

Throwing on his clothes, he ran downstairs and into the kitchen. If Sasuke was cooking, something's gonna burn, and never mind the smell, it would taste awful.

Turning the corner into the kitchen, Naruto was surprised to find not Sasuke, but Itachi in the kitchen. Making himself known, he asked straightforward. "You actually know how to cook? Sasuke can't cook for the life of him!"

Itachi didn't look away from the stove he was working at. "I always have known how to cook, and have for a long while. I figured I could show gratitude toward your generosity by helping you cook. Sasuke also went out to get some supplies, it was upon my request that you not be woken up, it looked as though you needed the sleep."

Naruto was taken aback by what he heard. "Oh! Uhm, thank you very much then, I feel quite rested this morning." _This guy has more screws loose than I do! That's saying something for sure!_

Itachi Hn'd, and continued stirring into a pot he had on the stove. "It also looks as though you have gotten more polite recently, has Sasuke been onto your case about that?"

Naruto huffed. "Yea, the nerve of it too, I have excellent manners either way!"

"Sure." Was all the older Uchiha could comment as he continued to cook. "Anyways for breakfast Kisame, you, and I will be having pancakes, and I'm giving my brother a perfect omelette. Sound good to you?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Sure? Will they be done soon?

"Soon enough," Itachi stated. "Then within the hour we will head off to the site chosen for the competition, alright? So you better be quick."

Naruto jumped. "Of course I can be quick! I'm the future Hokage after all!"

Itachi chuckled. "Well come take a seat then, breakfast is just about ready."

Sitting down, both ninja couldn't help but wonder how the rest of the day is going to go, and also couldn't resist a shiver not knowing if someone was there or not. Watching them.

Neither made any mention of the imperfect omelettes that seemed to have scattered all over the kitchen.

* * *

 _One Hour Later…_

"Ok!" Shouted Naruto. "Let's get this started!"

Kisame groaned. "Shut up kid. Others are not as enthusiastic about this as you are."

Kisame got a rotten fish thrown in face for that.

"Enough of that now, everyone!" Kakashi came into the grounds. "I'll be reffing this game today! I don't want to see anyone fighting during this time! The only things allowed are the Uchiha's 'hn's', understood?"

Watching everyone nod, Kakashi allowed himself to move further away from the two brothers.

The Uchiha's stared into each other's eyes. Who would make the first move? Who would win? Naruto clones where everywhere eating hotdogs and popcorn. Is that a marching band and cheerleader squad as well? Why is everyone getting so distracted by this? Start!

Sasuke and Itachi lunged towards each other, making everyone think they were actually going to fight, until they stopped, faces inches away from each other.

Sasuke frowned "Hn." _I have been waiting forever to beat you, Itachi!_

Itachi returned it with a smirk. "Hn." _Foolish little brother, you can never defeat the champion!_

"Hn!" _Well today is different, prepared to be dethroned!_

"Hn." _You won't win Sasuke, not today, not ever._

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn!"

Everyone by now had stopped jumping and cheering, and stared. This is how the tournament always goes? Such a bore!

Naruto groaned. "Can we just get some action! Please! I'm gonna die from all this!"

Kakashi looked at the genin who by now is face first on the ground. He then looked at Kisame, who was perfectly asleep. Sakura had left pretty early on.

It kinda is boring…

* * *

One figure looked below them from the trees, and took fascination into what the two Uchihas were doing. He wanted, no. He MUST join in this tournament!

He prepared to make a grand entrance, smirk set fully in place.

* * *

There was a rustle of trees, and a figure came flying out to the shock of everyone.

The figure however, snagged on a few branches, causing them to tumble out of the tree rather than gracefully land.

Standing up, they waved. "Hiya! I'm Tobi! I wanna join the contest!" Tobi acted as if he totally didn't destroy any semblance of a first impression.

The two Uchihas battling it out stopped, and slowly turned around.

Narrowing their eyes, the walked over to the newcomer.

Tobi grinned, "You're letting me join? I'm so happy! I would love to participate in this contest too! You all make Tobi so happy!"

As the two Uchihas reached Tobi, and stared.

Then punched him into the stars.

Tobi went flying, not at all bothered by the others reactions. "I'm blasting off again!"

Kisame woke from his nap to hear Tobi's distant words. Groggily looking around he was confused. "Wha-?" Was all he could muster before shrugging his shoulders and going back to sleep.

Itachi and Sasuke were having none of that though, and returned to their ever loved Hns. As one does not simply interrupt a war in progress.

Naruto and Kakashi couldn't stand waiting anymore so they left.

Kisame had fallen into such a sleep that he wouldn't ever be awoken.

Sasuke and Itachi continued their Hns. Some say that even this day, you could hear them in the forest, Hning away.

Tobi became his own constellation, as he truly had become one with the stars.

Then of course Itachi somehow came back from everything and kidnapped Naruto, but that's another story for another time.

The End.

* * *

Thank you all for reading, and sticking through the absence! Hope y'all caught some of the references I stuck in!


	10. Camping Trip

**I don't own Naruto everyone! Credit of this all goes to Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

"Troublesome."

"Shikamaru! You say that one more time and I swear!"

"Tch. Troublesome woman, troublesome genin, troublesome senseis, and troublesome activity."

He was soundly punched from behind by his blonde teammate, Ino.

"Hahaaa!" Laughed Kiba. "You totally deserved that!"

Until he too was smacked over the head, by an annoyed Naruto.

"We're almost there guys! No need to get all fussy now!"

"Hn."

"Sasuke's right. This is meant for a bonding experience, not to start a genin war!"

"We almost there yet?"

"YOUTH!"

"Shut up Lee."

"Brother? Y-y-you're h-here too?"

"I had to drag him along, we needed to have full team participation or else Guy-sensei would never let us live it down."

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh would everybody just SHUT UP!"

.

.

.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"You're so bossy forehead."

"Troublesome."

"Are we there YET?"

Naruto pulled out a whistle and blew as hard as he could. "Y'all can shut up now. We're here."

"Hn."

"Gotcha. Water's by the river and lake. Tents can go up in this clearing. Start preparing the fire in that pit you see. We're gonna have a campfire tonight."

The genin all rushed off to do the appropriate tasks as it was already starting to get dark. One by one they returned, throwing sticks into the pit, and pulling out bags of marshmallows.

"You all understand the importance of this, yes?" Sakura started. "Our senseis felt that the best way to start bonding and learning to work with the other genin of our year would be to do a few night activity with each other."

"That's why we got to go camping!" Naruto grinned. "We're not too far from the village in case of emergencies. Our senseis will also be patrolling the outer areas of the village in our direction as well, but they won't interfere."

"Hn."

"Sasuke's right." Sakura nodded. Naruto on the other hand kicked him lightly. "They don't all understand grunt, gonna have to play it easy for a few days."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Kakashi took care to remind us that we have some flares each in case of emergencies, I trust you all understand that too?"

Seeing the nods of the other teams. Sasuke laid back to how he was before.

"YOSH!" Lee called. "My youthful friends, let us partake in the making of smores on this beautiful and awe inspiring night.!"

Choji nodded. "I'm starved, let's eat!"

The genin chatted away, making plans on what they should do the next day. They agreed to go swimming in the nearby river and lake. There was enough of a beach like setting for those who simply wanted to rest by the water instead.

Content and happy, each returned to their tents and promptly fell asleep in their own sleeping bags. Three per tent.

* * *

"Time to get up ya maggots! Hup to it! March march march!"

Shikamaru rolled over in his sleeping bag. "Who in Kami's name is making that racket?"

Kiba growled. "Naruto…"

Tenten groaned, "The sun has barely even risen, it's too early."

Lee's eyes sparkled. "A youthful wakeup! YOSH!"

Shino continued to sleep peacefully.

Nobody noticing the ear plugs he wore.

"And here's to you Sasuke!"

Sasuke paled, his still waking up mind knowing it's not gonna be good.

Sakura gave him a look of 'what did you do?'

Naruto marched into their tent with his pots and pans. Ready for revenge on whatever it was Sasuke had done.

Naruto took a deep breath…

"I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all. Y'all never gonna sleep cause of me!"

…

"I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all. Y'all never gonna sleep cause of me!"

Sakura lunged over and started shaking Sasuke. "What. Did. You. Do?!"

Sasuke was in shock. "I don't know! Naruto stop! I'm sorry if I did something wrong! Please just stop this racket!"

"I didn't get no sleep cause o-" Naruto stopped mid swing. "Oh? You're apologizing?"

Sasuke nodded frantically. "Yes! Yes, I am! I'm sorry if you lost sleep last night, maybe we can make up for a bit now?" Sasuke tried his most hopeful and pleading tone, even if it wasn't much.

Naruto squinted at him. Then sighed.

"Nope!"

The others continued to cover their ears as Naruto continued to smash the pots and pans around singing at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Asuma Sarutobi looked over the forest from his border patrol. 'Did he just hear Naruto? And was that someone clanging metal together? He seriously hoped that this wasn't a bad idea…

...he feared that people won't get out unscathed.'

* * *

After everyone was woken up and fed a hearty breakfast of tomato soup, they all got ready to go down to the lake area for a day of fun.

Most were all for jumping in and enjoying the cool water, while a few stayed on shore either lazing about or reading.

While Neji was off training somewhere, he disappeared quite quickly after breakfast.

Back to the lake company, Shikamaru was watching the clouds with Shino reading next to him, blanket underneath as to not get themselves pointlessly dirty.

Everyone else was in the water, trying various activities, as well as getting a bit of a rope swing going. All-in-all, it was a blast.

Ino swam closer to shore and called out to her teammate. "Hey Shikamaru! Get in here and stop watching those stupid clouds. This isn't the time to be lazy!"

Shikamaru took one look at her before returning his eyes to the sky. "No."

Ino huffed and swam away. She knew better than to waste her time trying.

Naruto though, didn't.

"Hey, Sasuke, Sakura. I got this brilliant plan, and I need your help."

The other two listened in, all ears.

"I want to get Shikamaru to come into the lake, it'll be great!"

Sakura was skeptical. "Trying to get him away from sky gazing or whatever is like trying to move a mountain."

"I know, I know. Though think about it. This may be Shikamaru, but we can get it to work. We're the dream team. Team Myth. Team Kakashi. Team Devils or Demons or 7 or whatever people call us. If anyone can do it. We can."

Sasuke hummed. "It would be interesting to try, but this will be on you Naruto. Shikamaru is extremely intelligent. He's a Nara, and his IQ is quite high. Even if you trick him, he'll get you back. He may fall for it now, but it won't be the last you hear of it."

"What does smarts have to do with anything?"

"His strategies are like no other, and nobody has ever seen Shikamaru really angry. Combining the two could be catastrophic."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, I'm not an idiot. I'd be more worried if he didn't try to get back at me."

The three soon parted after some quiet whispering. If anyone were to have listened. All they would have made out was 'Plan distract and attack.'

* * *

Sasuke stood near the lake's edge, and calmly called out to Shikamaru.

"Oi, Nara, can you hand me my shoes? There's a bunch of sharp rocks here that I don't want to pointlessly step on."

Shikamaru opened one eye to look at Sasuke. Seeing him standing awkwardly in the shallow water near the lake edge, he sighed with a small. "Fine."

"Don't throw them though, I don't want to lose them. I'm also going to put them on as I step out of the water."

Shikamaru nodded as he moved the bags around to find Sasuke's. Next to it was his shoes. Reaching down, Shikamaru pulled them up and made his way to the water's edge.

He reached the water and handed them to Sasuke, giving a simple 'No problem,' to Sasuke's 'Thanks.'

What we wasn't prepared for was the screeching of his name however.

Sakura had positioned herself where Shikamaru would have to turn the most to locate her, and promptly screamed, "Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru's surprise as well as turning around so quickly put him off balance for just a sliver of a moment, but that was all Naruto needed to give him a big push into the lake.

The young Nara yelped as he fell backwards, hitting the water and trying to right himself. Luckily though, it was still quite shallow. He didn't have to worry about drowning from his surprise.

Though that surprise turned to anger as he faced the now laughing Naruto.

Everyone noticed the change in Shikamaru's posture, and eyed the two warily.

"Naruto?"

"Yes Shika?"

"You better watch that back of yours for the rest of this trip. Don't think I'd just let something like this slide."

All eyes were on the flustered Nara as he stomped out of the lake and back to the camp to change. The moment he was gone however, brought a chorus of giggles and laughter. Naruto put the idea of Shika's threat to the back of his mind for the rest of the day.

* * *

Naruto went to bed wondering what Shika's revenge would be.

The day's activities went on as normal aside from the more tense Nara, but no retaliation yet.

* * *

Two days after the lake incident, and the Nara hadn't done anything. Naruto was beginning to grow worried. 'What is it gonna be?'

* * *

Four days after the incident, and Naruto was getting jumpy. He just knows Shikamaru is planning something even then. It made him nervous.

* * *

Ten days had passed. Naruto was ready to have a breakdown. By then, the daily activities couldn't calm him down.

* * *

Thirteen days went, their two week stay was almost up. Leaving first thing in the morning, Naruto wondered if this was Shikamaru's plan all along. His revenge was to make Naruto think he'd get revenge, so Naruto would be in pieces by the end of the two weeks.

That must be it.

Naruto was sure.

* * *

Shikamaru struck on their way back.

Naruto never stood a chance.

Nobody even realized anything had happened until it was all over.

When their senseis came to meet them, all had been curious about the state of Naruto.

He was bound and gagged, wearing clown makeup and a pink frilly tutu. He wore a wig with pigtails and ribbons, and a bright red nose.

Their questioning gazes lead all the genin to point to Shikamaru, much to the senseis' surprise.

Shikamaru grinned darkly, queuing a simultaneous shudder.

They'd get the story later.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! See you all next time!**


	11. Talent Show

**I don't own Naruto! Credits go to Masashi Kishimoto. I don't own our dear Doctor either! His credits go to Disney! (I think)**

* * *

 **Thank you all for tuning in as well, this may actually be a two part story! Or I could just leave it at this and leave you all with the cliffhanger. I'll see how I feel. Make sure to tune in again! For more stories!**

* * *

"Come one! Come all! For we have something for all to see!"

"Who wishes to try? To show off for all! Who will it be!?"

"Don't worry ninja! There's a prize! Though not without a teensy weensy fee!"

A tall, lanky man called out with a mic from a pedestal before a large crowd.

* * *

Team 7 were walking down the streets of Konoha.

Completely bored out of their minds.

They had a mission today, nothing special. With the help of some clones, they finished their D-ranks early. So they were now looking for something to entertain themselves.

Naruto was grumbling as they walked. Hands in pockets. He was brought out of his musing by a crowd of villagers running past them and ahead, a few of them nearly running him over.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted. "Watch where you go running in crazed groups!"

The three genin watched them disappear into the distance, wondering what that was even about.

Noticing a (notably) smaller crowd by a nearby wall, Sakura made her way over to see what they were all looking at. Reaching them, all she saw was a flyer. _How disappointing._ She was about to turn around and head back to the others, until she actually caught what the flyer said.

Running back to the two boys. She couldn't contain her excitement. "Guys! There's a talent show for the ninja of our village! We gotta join!"

"Hn."

"This is no time for stage fright! We gotta do this! If we win… oh the prize is sooo much! C'mon you two, we have to! It gives us something to do!"

"Well…" Naruto was thinking hard.

Sakura switched tactics.

"Think about this Naruto, think about the ramen, and scrolls you could get. Think about your supplies Sasuke, your tomatoes. If we win the first prize, we could get a ton of those without any problem!"

"I'm in." Piped Sasuke.

Naruto glared over at the other boy for making such a quick decision, though he himself already knew what would be his answer.

"I'm doing it for the ramen." Naruto stated. "What are we waiting for then? Let's sign up and figure something out!."

Sasuke and Sakura nodded, and the three took off towards where they thought the sign ups were.

* * *

Looking at the man in charge, the three genin waited for his attention.

The talent show host looked to his right, there were three children there. He grinned, genin. Turning to them and crouching down from his pedestal, he asked, "You three here for the talent show? You can pay the fee and sign right on up!"

Naruto and Sakura signed them up while Sasuke paid the fee. They felt uneasy around the man, and wanted to just hurry up and sign in. "Yes, we're pretty excited to try this."

Naruto put down the pen, and the man had pocketed the money. Leaning his tall body over, he chuckled. "Such cute genin, it was nice to meet you. I'm sure my ah, friends would love to meet you too. If ya ever wanna have another chat, just ask around here for 'Doctor'. They'll know."

He laughed as the 3 shivered. This man gave off bad vibes.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura bowed their heads in thanks and took off as fast as they could. The sooner and further away, the better.

* * *

Straightening back up, the Doctor looked at the fleeing genin. "Such cute little genin indeed." His happy grin widened to a more creepy one. "I really should introduce them to my…

friends."

He laughed and went backstage, while shuffling a deck of cards.

* * *

"Okay guys, this has to be perfect!"

Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke have been practicing a combination of jutsu, but more for show purposes. Sakura using a little knowledge of water jutsu to send it spiraling upwards, and Sasuke doing the same with a fire jutsu. Naruto would catch both attacks with his wind jutsu and cause a spiral between the two to move around the area. Their idea was to go for flashy, not difficulty.

"I bet many ninja are going to be doing jutsu, not many might be willing to do other talents. They may go for difficult ones, but we want to go for flashy right? We need something that impresses the people, and something the impresses, the uh, Doctor." Naruto cringed at the last part of his statement, not wanting to think about the man.

The other two couldn't help but feel with Naruto. There was something not right about him, but they would find out, and win that talent show!

Knowing it was just in a few days, they continued on their practice. Not knowing about the shadows.

* * *

Out of the shadows, a figure crept along the streets of Konoha. Careful to avoid the ninja on patrol, he made his way to the talent show stage. He proceeded to go backstage to where an office was located. He sighed, and took off his coat, revealing the Doctor.

His tall, lanky frame fell into the office chair, and he pulled out a bunch of cards. The cards in fact, were the ones he was playing with earlier. Spreading them out on his table, he began flipping them over.

One by one, all the ninja who signed up for his show appeared, including team 7's genin. The Doctor looked them over, only coming to grin at one. It would be perfect. He picked up a choker, and laughed.

His friends laughed silently behind him.

* * *

Come the day of the talent show, Konoha was buzzing. It seemed like at least half the village wanted to see what was going to happen. The crowds gathered around the stage, sitting on the benches and bleachers placed around for seating. The Hokage himself decided to come watch, partially due to the insistence of Naruto. He could never just say 'no' to the boy, could he?

When the crowd was settling down, the Doctor came waltzing out with the sly grin of his. People were in awe with his outfit. An open suit and top hat with a feather, wearing purple seems to suit him too. He walked out with his staff this time, rather than the mic, but it didn't seem to really matter.

"Welcome all!" The Doctor called into the staff. "Welcome to the first Konoha talent show!"

The crowd cheered and clapped, the Hokage smiling along. Though something didn't seem right.

"Today we will have multiple categories. To keep it fair, it's by rank. We got the jounin, chunin, and genin performing today, as ANBU can't, and our dear Hokage is in the audience! What great support!"

Sarutobi nodded his head in acknowledgement, and the Doctor took that as a cue to continue.

"We will start with the jounin, and make our way to the genin, we will choose two winners from each category to compete for a final round, and we will end off with our three winners!"

The Doctor slinked off the stage as the first jounin was invited up.

* * *

Team 7 was backstage, waiting for their turn to come up. Having completely forgotten the event that happened barely an hour previous.

The Doctor had approached all the performers backstage, and proceeded to hand out black chokers with a clear gem in the middle. Passing them to each performer, he said he'd explain them after. Each act got one, and he had handed the last to Naruto.

Clearing his throat, he called for attention. "Alright guys, soon you will perform, and you will compete. Whoever I gave the chokers to, must wear them. They will turn green during the judging if you pass to the next round, and will glow red if you don't, ok?"

After a series of head nodding, the Doctor told them to put them on and proceeded to set up for the show to start.

* * *

Team 7 jumped when they heard their names. Is it time to perform? Great!

Making their way out, they performed their starter act. Sakura started by making an earth pedestal in the shape of an open hand with a large hovering rasengan. While what appeared to be lightning strikes shoot out, courtesy of Sasuke. It was hard yes, but mighty impressive. Quite flashy too.

The Hokage smiled. They sure have grown, especially Naruto. Though he couldn't help but frown at all the chokers he had been seeing the ninja wear, which he now notices is around Naruto's neck as well.

Team 7 knew they had this in the bag, nobody could stand on their level! Their own friends didn't bother to join, so it was just a bunch of random genins.

Team 7 kept this confidence as everyone was called back for the judging.

As they walked back up on stage, they could see the cheering crowd, while listening to the Doctor explain the colours of the choker's gems to the audience. So the audience watched closely, seeing which gems turn green.

One by one, the jounin's turned red, until a duo's turned green as well as a solo. Two solo chunin got their wins, and for the genin, Team 7 cheered in delight to see theirs glowing a bright green as well, they looked to see another genin, who had caused a child sized tornado to fly around the stage, get a green gem.

So the Doctor took back the red chokers, and the performers went offstage in defeat, but staying to watch the end. While the others went once more backstage, and prepared themselves for the final round.

Once more the performers went up, and once more Team 7 were the final ones to perform. Having perfected their favourite trick, Sakura and Sasuke shot their water and fire at Naruto. As the audience gasped, Naruto used his wind manipulations to begin the spiral of the two jutsus, and control it around and above the audience and stage. It ended high up in the air as an explosion of colours, courtesy of some (ahem) useful and not at all prank materials.

To combine water, fire, and wind. At the genin level. The other ninja, and the Hokage, were indeed impressed by the skill.

The three genin grinned.

* * *

"Alright everyone! Come back on stage, it's time to choose the winners of each rank!"

The six performances walked back up in front of everyone, their gems once more blank.

The audience cheered as the winning jounin was chosen, when the winning chunin was chosen, and when it came to the genin, went nuts as Team 7's choker flashed an emerald green.

The Doctor then ordered the jounin and chunin performers offstage, and held Team 7 back. He had a few words to say.

"When I first met these cute little genin, I can admit I didn't see much in them. They were no more than little kids to me. Well I was proved wrong!"

The audience clapped and hollered.

"It was only through dedication and hard work that these three had put in, and I must admit, great control from little Naruto here."

There were a few uneasy glares, but respectful claps nonetheless. The Hokage was curious about the singling out of Naruto.

"So that's why I decided..." The Doctor's smiled grew.

"I'm letting Naruto here..." The Hokage jumped up, calling for the ANBU to step in. He could feel the building magic power. He had to stop this!

"Naruto!" Sarutobi yelled, as the choker's gem around Naruto's neck turned purple, and an eerie mist to roll around, blocking everyone's vision.

A pair of glowing masks was seen in the distance, as the tall figure of the Doctor leaned forwards, his skeleton mask all the more terrifying.

"...Meet my friends."

Sarutobi could only watch helplessly as Naruto laughed along with the Doctor, his own mask showing off his glowing purple eyes.

The Doctor stopped laughing and grinned at everyone.

.

.

.

"You're in my world now."


	12. Nii-san!

**I don't own Naruto people! Credits to Masashi Kishimoto!**

 **This is a short one shot guys! Please don't hate me for it.**

 **Thanks to one of my friends for suggesting this idea! Any other suggestions are welcome!**

* * *

Kakashi was walking around the training grounds, orange book in hand. He was finished with his team today, so there was no worry over looking after crazy genin. It was a nice, bright, sunny day, and he was going to enjoy it. Just him and his little orange book.

That didn't last long.

"Nii-san! You are not better than me!" Kakashi heard in the distance. Likely from their team's usual training ground. _Was that Sasuke?_

"Sasuke stop! You have to calm down!" _Sasuke and Naruto? What is going on? Nii-san? Could it be Itachi?_

"I am calm!" Then a fireball exploded in the distance. Followed by the clanging of metal.

Kakashi tucked his book away and started running to the scene. Hoping that the genin were safe.

* * *

"Sasuke! You will never be victorious if you don't calm down! Your nii-san would win!"

"Shut up and let me try! I never lose!"

"Oh yea?! Then what seems to be happening now?!"

"Shut up Naruto!"

"You shut up!"

"No you!"

"Oi! Why don't you-!"

Kakashi landed in the clearing, serious and without a book in sight. "What is going on here?!"

Taking a look around, he took in the situation. There was Naruto, looking like someone threw a fireball at him. Probably the one from earlier. Sasuke was red-faced and panting. Though behind them was something he had never seen before.

A big metal box on wheels with sections of glass? What?

Kakashi looked at the genin, eyebrow raised. Naruto took that as a cue.

"It's Sasuke's Nissan! He bought it a while back, though it's having trouble starting."

"A Nissan?" Kakashi echoed.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in confirmation.

Kakashi stared at the vehicle. "It's not going to explode?"

"Nope!"

"Not going to trap anyone inside?"

"Nope!"

"Not used as a weapon of any sort?"

"Nope!"

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. "Then why on earth do you need a 'Nissan'?"

Sasuke could only grin at that. "The Nissan Pathfinder is great for transportation! Also to kind of show off. I don't have a license, but whatever, Uchihas don't need that anyways!" Turning around, he kicked the car. "But this dang thing won't turn on!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Well I guess I'm not needed here. Have fun." Pulling out his orange book, he started back to where he was before this whole fiasco started.

The two genin went back to arguing. Their voices heard from a distance away.

"Nissan!"

"No Sasuke! Don't!"

 **BOOM!**

Kakashi jumped and sharply turned his head towards the training field that he had just previously vacated. Eyes widening as pieces of metal rained down from above. Snapping his book shut. He just stared as the 'unexplodable car' recovered from its... explosion.

Naruto and Sasuke weren't harmed by the explosion, being a relative distance away, but they still looked a mess.

"Well…" Naruto started, "it usually wouldn't explode. Unless a certain Uchiha decides to send fire jutsus at its gas tanks."

"You don't say." Kakashi deadpanned.

He turned around and walked away. Obviously ignoring the genin in the clearing.

Sighing, he pulled out his book. _What did I do to deserve such crazy and insane genin?_

.

.

.

"Calm down Sasuke! You're Nissan can't cause anymore trouble now, right?"

...

"My Nissan!"

* * *

 **Fin.**


	13. Talent Show 2

**Don't own Naruto! (Wish I did) Credits to Masashi Kishimoto. I don't own the Doctor either! Credits for this goes to Disney!**

* * *

 **If you wish for any stories or ideas? I'd be happy to take them! Story idea for the Talent Show Series goes to a friend of mine! Many thanks!**

* * *

 _"You're in my world now."_

Just like that, everyone present felt like a huge weight had fallen over them. Even Sarutobi could barely stand on his feet. The genin and civilians were being crushed by the weight, but even the ANBU couldn't stand up properly.

What is this guy?

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura had begun backing up away from Naruto the second they heard him laughing. Cause oh my gosh this was creepier than his creepy laugh, and that's saying something. The second that the gravity was brought down though, they were immediately on the ground.

The Hokage stood on his feet and glared at the Doctor. Having regained himself, he's ready to fight.

The Doctor however, looked unamused by all the people pancakes he had made. Therefore completely ignoring the Hokage. He banged his staff on the stage floor, bringing up some music. From where? Who knows.

 _(Play Voltaire - When You're Evil)_

Slowly dancing around, the Doctor proceeded to step on people to make his way to get to the Hokage.

Sarutobi realizing the situation they're in, knows they can't fight with half the village so close. He could only send his darkest glare towards the Doctor.

Who meanwhile, decided to let Naruto join in the dance. Not caring whether or not they destroyed nearby properties. Their dancing sure caused some broken bones though, as they didn't even try to avoid the people all over the place.

Jumping back to the stage, the Doctor finished his song. Naruto clapping happily along.

( _End of Voltaire - When You're Evil)_

"Why are you doing this?!" The Hokage shouted. "What's your purpose here?"

The Doctor gave a little spin and tipped his hat. "Well let's say where I came from is no longer an option, I'd like to start anew, and it's a good start."

Turning to Naruto he grinned. "I needed an apprentice recently, and he seemed like a good match. So much mischievousness in one small child. Isn't that right Naruto?"

Naruto grinned back at the taller man, purple eyes glowing. "That is completely true master! I would love to be your perfect apprentice!"

The Doctor smiled and patted Naruto's spiky blonde hair. "Atta boy. You're gonna do great."

Naruto laughed and looked back at Sarutobi. "What will we do with him?"

The Doctor looked to Naruto, and back at Sarutobi. "You seem pretty skilled my boy, and the Hokage is greatly weakened at the moment. All those fees to enter and watch really satisfied my friends enough to help out eh?"

Naruto jumped in excitement. "I can fight him? Really?"

"Yep." The Doctor grinned. "Don't be quick about it, let him die slowly and painfully. You think you can handle that?"

"Handle it?" Naruto huffed. "I was born to!"

"Good, good." The Doctor snapped his fingers and Naruto immediately jumped with an attack at the Hokage, who managed to dodge just in time.

The Hokage backed off, avoiding all the genin's attacks, they were extremely quick and precise. He'd have to be careful. "Naruto, listen to me. You're not his apprentice, your a genin of Konoha. The Naruto I know would never let some person get the better of him like this. Think of your friends."

"I have no friends!" Naruto laughed. Sasuke and Sakura were visibly upset by the proclamation, but knew that Naruto wasn't himself.

"All of you people really thought I cared? HA! Why would I care when all everyone does is glare at me? Bully me? Attack me? Refuse to sell products to me and if they do, it's either broken or rotten!" Naruto pulled out a kunai and swung at Sarutobi.

The Doctor looked on in interest hearing this news. _An outcast huh? He really is a good choice._

Sarutobi pulled out a kunai and used it to defend against Naruto's own. He then used the body flicker technique to get behind Naruto and get his own back to the people. Inwardly apologizing, he made the seals and attacked Naruto with his _Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Bullet_.

Surprised at the strength and suddenness of the attack, Naruto was thrown further down the street, not stopping until he had crashed into one of the houses. Coughing as he tried to get up, he noticed his body had many burns, and the crash into the building didn't help any.

The Doctor wasn't happy either. The Hokage was not supposed to be this strong! The gravity weighing down on him courtesy of his friends, should have made him no stronger than a regular jounin at most!

The Hokage had cringed at Naruto's injuries, but knew that it was necessary. Naruto can heal quickly, but many lives were at stake. He knew he had to press on.

"So every time you called me gramps it was fake Naruto? Your trust with Iruka, all those pranks you did with your friends? It was all a lie? You never wanted to be here, despite how each and every one of us who have gotten close to you, love you like family?"

Naruto growled, and ran back to Sarutobi with another attack. "Shut it and fight!"

The Hokage prepared an _Earth Release: Earth Dragon Projectile_ and fired at Naruto, who in his blind rage, couldn't move out of the way or remember to make any shadow clones. Taking it head on, the blonde genin was knocked out of the fight.

.

.

.

The Hokage turned back towards the Doctor. "As skilled as Naruto is, and as weakened as I am, I am still the Hokage. You will lose today."

The Doctor looked shocked. "Y-you can't beat me! I-I am the Doctor! All powerful! You-you better…" He smirked. _"Watch out."_

Sarutobi spun around in surprise, only to get pinned down by dozens of Naruto clones.

Meanwhile, the Doctor laughed. "Don't think a few measly attacks could hold him down long! You're done Hokage!"

The Hokage could take one look at Naruto and could tell, he was nowhere near able to fight. So he once more tried to talk. "Naruto, if you keep going, you are going to die. You're heavily injured."

"I'm fine!" Naruto growled back at him.

"You are not! This isn't the Naruto I know! As much as I know I can win this fight, I can't bear to hurt you any more than I already have."

"Then you're weak!"

"And who will be the Hokage of Konoha? Our future Hokage? Isn't that your dream Naruto? You always boasted and bragged about becoming the Hokage, you can't do that like this!"

Naruto stopped moving. "I did?"

Sarutobi nodded. "Remember when you'd come into my office, telling me that soon I'd give you my hat? Who will do that if you're not there?"

"I-I..."

Sarutobi felt something hit his face, before he saw Naruto's tears. There was a pang in his heart at seeing Naruto so upset, and as the clones disappeared, reached up and gave him a hug.

Whispering reassurances, he stood up, and turned towards the Doctor. "Leave, you have lost."

The Doctor was grinding his teeth. "You will not have peace knowing I'm always out there. It may be my loss, but you can assure that this is not over."

.

.

.

The weight was lifted off of everyone, and even the Hokage felt much lighter. Though before anyone could grab or attack the Doctor, he vanished in purple mist.

The Hokage then turned his attention to the sobbing genin.

* * *

Naruto wanted to run and hide in a corner. He was a _monster_. He damaged property, hurt people, even attempted to murder the Hokage! He deserved death, torture, whatever they give him he probably deserved!

The choker had been refusing to come off, and Naruto's eyes were still purple, but he knew he was himself. _Would it even last?_

They wanted to lock him up, or restrain him until they can be sure the choker won't do anything, but the Hokage was confident in letting Naruto come and stay in his office. Naruto himself wondered if that was a good idea. _He'd probably just end up attacking gramps again._

* * *

Currently Naruto was curled up on his side, lying down on a small couch in the office. He was turned towards the couch, refusing to look at anyone. He didn't deserve to look anyone in the eyes, or even look at anyone at all.

Sarutobi knew that Naruto was placing all the guilt on himself, and he feared what Naruto would do in this state. He tried talking to the boy, but it was like trying to talk to the couch itself. Naruto had become a shell of himself.

Eventually his friends also managed to come by, after the collar was indeed removed. They took one look at the state he was in, and made it a mission to bring him back to his crazy self.

The Hokage smiled at the companionship they showed.

"Naruto, why don't we do some pranks huh? I'm sure you've been planning some lately."

"..."

Sakura took a turn. "Naruto, nothing is the same without your crazy antics, we all need you."

"..."

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, and back down to the genin. They both raised their fists, and brought them down on his head. Hard.

"Ow! What was that for!"

Sakura glared. "Naruto! You get up off that couch right now! No more 'woe is me' attitude, step up and man up! We're a team, you get it! Nobody thinks any differently of you! We're all proud of your will, and you proved yourself by even being here now. So suck it up princess, and go prank this village!"

Sasuke had backed off during the rant, and Naruto just stared with wide eyes.

Cue in an even bigger surprise, when in through the window comes, Kakashi, their sensei.

Silently walking towards Naruto he knelt down next to the couch. "Naruto, I've just been informed that my crazy genin isn't being so crazy at the moment. I may be hours late to everything, but for the well being of one of my little genin, you are my first priority." Kakashi looked Naruto in his eyes, smiling at the striking blue colour.

"You mean so much more to us than you think Naruto. Nobody here blames you. This Doctor was controlling you, you can't be blamed for that. No more tears and depressive moods ok? Leave it to someone like me."

Naruto gave a small smile at his sensei. Those words meant a lot.

Kakashi wasn't finished. "I can guess what you're thinking. Until that choker was off, you didn't even trust yourself. Now all you can think about is being punished. Maybe even just disappearing from this world. You think you deserve it. You don't Naruto. You deserve a healthy, free life. I can relate to your pain, and I bet Sasuke could too. Heck, a lot of ninja in this village could probably relate in some way too. Even your 'Crazy Snake Lady'. Come talk to me if you need to, or the Hokage, or anyone else. They'll listen, and they'll help. So why don't you have fun now ok? You easily deserve a bit of fun after recent events."

Naruto was noticeably brighter after Kakashi's words. He was no longer upset.

He was laughing.

He laughed and held his friends and sensei close, tears falling. These tears were happy ones. The Hokage came over, and was immediately included in the hug.

Naruto jumped up. "Well, that's that! Let's get these pranks done!" Turning to the Hokage he smiled. "You're off the hook for now gramps! Thanks a bunch!" Bowing to Kakashi, "Thank you sensei, you're off the hook for now too, I'd gladly take up your offer sometime, thank you so much."

The Hokage watched the three genin run out, and smiled. Things were back to normal, or as normal it could get. Something like this would probably take time.

Sitting down at his desk he started back on his own torture. *Ahem* Paperwork. Hearing screams and the squawking of chickens in the distance, he could only chuckle softly.

* * *

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were having a blast.

Until they realized.

.

.

.

Nobody ever did get those talent show winnings.


	14. What is Sensei Reading?

Naruto wanted to know what Kakashi was reading, and he wanted to know _bad._

He has seen the way the jounin walks around with that book to his nose all the time. Observing how Kakashi would often giggle.

He once directly asked Kakashi about the book, but his sensei waved him off, saying that it wasn't for him, he wouldn't like/understand it, blah, blah, blah…

Like c'mon! With the amount of giggling Kakashi makes, it has to be funny or something right? A joke book? Comedy? What?! It's as if Kakashi is taunting him whenever he pulls that book out in front of him. Is it really necessary?

He couldn't even get it from any of the stores. They would just plain refuse to let him buy it, or even look at it.

' _I'm gonna slap him in the face with a fish if this keeps up. No, make it two fish. Serves him right for making me this frustrated.'_

So Naruto hatched his grand plan.

…

The 'Kakashi Is A Meanie Who Won't Let Me See His Book' master plan.

It was perfect.

Step one. _Distraction._

He'll make a clone to disguise as a civilian. They are to strike up a conversation with his sensei, who will focus more on the person, and less on his book.

Step two. _Infiltration._

Sneakily creep up behind his sensei, this requires utmost patience and silence, Kakashi is still a jounin after all.

Step three. _Acquire._

Slip the book out of Kakashi's possession without getting caught. Sneak away, and allow the "civilian" to end the conversation and walk away.

Step four. _Finally Figure Out What On Earth Kakashi Has Been Hiding From Him._

Like he said, perfect. This was bound to work.

* * *

It was supposed to work.

What went wrong? Did he step on a branch? Did he not mask his chakra well enough? Was Kakashi this far out of his league?

Naruto was currently wrapped in ninja wire hanging upside down from a tree. Kakashi was reading that stupid book and looking at him with one of his eye smiles.

The bastard.

…

Kakashi laughed inwardly at his cute student hanging from the tree like an angry pinata. It would have been impossible _not_ to hear Naruto coming. With all the shrubbery noises he made, heavy breathing, and oh so obvious "Aha!" when he got even closer, Kakashi could swear that a bear could make less noise.

* * *

Naruto wouldn't give up.

He tried doing a trade, tried sneaking up a few more times, pretended to be an interested adult, and even tried to snatch it during training. Much to the amusement of his sensei, and the confusion of Sasuke and Sakura. He was getting _fed up._

With a grumble, Naruto looked at his team's retreating backs after the latest training. Glancing once more at Kakashi, he walked up to his sensei and crossed his arms.

Kakashi looked down at him in interest.

"So." Naruto started. "I've been trying to get that book for weeks. As you well know." With Kakashi's nod he continued."You really make me want to give up, but _please_ , can I see the book?"

"Sure."

"I know asking is stupid, but it was wo- wait what?"

"I said sure." Kakashi grinned. He snapped the book shut. (He was obviously reading it) and held it out to the genin.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"No tricks?"

"Nope."

Naruto peered at his sensei, trying to detect any lies. "Then why wouldn't you let me before?"

"You always either demanded what was in it, or straight up tried to steal it. You never really asked politely you know."

Naruto deadpanned. "That's it? That's all I had to do?"

"Yep."

Kakashi was slapped in the face by a fish. He let it slide.

"Well then." Kakashi waved. "Have a good read!" He walked away, pulling out a copy of the same book. Naruto watched him leave in shock and annoyance. Then grinned.

"Victory! My mission is accomplished! I can now see what fun awaits in this book, and exploit it in my pranks. If it could make a jounin laugh, it can make others laugh too!"

So sitting by a tree, Naruto opened the first page, and began reading. Before long, his face was growing into horror, and utter shock.

It wasn't long before he passed out. The weight of what he read overwhelming him.

* * *

...

"Kakashi you pervert! Take your stupid book back!" Naruto chucked the book at his teacher, crossed his arms, and turned his back. He could hear Kakashi laughing behind him through his mask. "It isn't funny!"

"Well, if you need any more reading material or advice, just let me know!" Kakashi chirped. "I can help set you up with that girl you like. Hinata? Was it?"

Naruto's face turned red. "KAKASHI YOU PERVERT! YOU STUPID BASTARD! KEEP YOUR RIDICULOUS FANTASIES TO YOURSELF!"

The jounin puffed into smoke, and Naruto made a vow.

Never again will he wonder what an adult is reading.

Never again...

Never.


	15. Manners I - Feat: Sasuke

Sasuke was eating his delicious tomato salad under a tree at training ground 7. No traps, no teammates, and no senseis. Just him and this tomato salad. Heavy on the tomatoes.

He set his bowl down on the small blanket he brought as he picked up his canteen for a long drink. It was a nice day out, albeit a bit hot. Though this made the experience all the more relaxing.

He finished with his water and made to pick up his tomato salad, until a certain orange clad genin popped out of nowhere, falling out of the tree the Uchiha was sitting underneath.

Wait.

No.

NO!

Not the salad! Not the tomato salad! This is a crime! A crime to all tomatoes and salads everywhere! But mostly the tomatoes!

Sasuke glared at Naruto, who seemed oblivious to the heinous act he had just committed. Until he was put off by what Naruto said next.

"Sasukeeee, how do you get all the girls to like you?! Let me in on the secret pleaseeee!"

Eye twitching, the raven haired genin pointed at his now deceased bowl of salad. "For starters, that's why. You don't just go on jumping on people's meals! Show some manners!"

"Teach me how!"

Sasuke reeled back. "Hell no! An idiot like you doesn't even know his right foot from his left! I'd bet you don't even know what proper manners even mean!"

"I do!" Naruto protested back. "It's being all _nice_ and _proper_ all the time like stupid _rich dirtbags_!"

…

…

"Yeah, no." Sasuke sighed. "Fine. I'll show you some stuff, then go away. Go torture Kakashi or something rather than pester me."

"ALRIGHT!"

* * *

"Ok Naruto. You see me right?"

"Yep!"

"Very first thing to note, I'm sitting _calmly_ at the table. No fidgeting, no jumping, no _moving_. Got that?"

"Yep!"

Sasuke stared down at the other genin. "What is it I'm doing?"

"Sit calm, no moving."

"Alright." Sasuke huffed. "You see me picking up these utensils? See as I pick up the food, and eat it calmly, no rushing, no scarfing, no acting like it's the last meal I'd ever eat."

"I mean, it could be."

"Not the point, Naruto."

…"Ok."

"You try."

Naruto made his way to the food, and sat in front of it. Looking from the food to Sasuke, he reached for his fork and made to take some food from the salad bowl. He could feel Sasuke's eyes on him and tried not to fidget too much. ' _Doesn't help that he seems to be staring into my soul.'_

However, in his moment of distraction, he missed the salad and stabbed the rim of the bowl, sending it toppling on it's side. Naruto yelped and flailed his arms, knocking over the two candles on the low table. Right after, he accidentally let go of his fork, sending it into the wall and knocking over a painting. He panicked at the sight of the fire from the candles leaking out onto the table, and tried to use the napkins to put it out, setting them on fire in the process.

"Ohhh no! Oh no! No! No! What do we do? What do we do!?" Naruto panicked. Until he got drenched, along with the table. He looked up to see Sasuke behind him with a large pail of water. Face completely expressionless. "Hehe. Uhhh, Guess the fire's out now?"

"..."

"..."

Sasuke set the pail down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Only you Naruto. Only you could cause such a mess from trying to eat with a fork. I can't man. Go ask Sakura or something. There's nothing I can do. You're hopeless."

Naruto got up and brushed any remaining ashes off, ignoring the fact he is still dripping wet. "Maybe I will! You're such a bad teacher!" With that, he stuck out his tongue at the Uchiha and jumped out of the broken window.

Sasuke did a double take. ' _Since when was the window broken?'_

Looking around a bit more, there was a lot more than just a broken window. There was a fork in the wall where the hangers for a painting was, said painting in pieces on the ground. The table and napkins are just charred and in ashes, water was absolutely everywhere, it was a nightmare. Sasuke looked to where Naruto sat and groaned. The orange clad boy sure thought he was a riot, leaving in such a huff.

Of course he would leave fish there, where'd he even get that raw fish?

...

He sighed, and proceeded to start cleaning the completely destroyed room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto scoured the town for his next teacher, looking for the telltale signs of her pink hair. A girl must surely know some things about manners. Right?

* * *

 ***1/4*  
**


	16. Manners II - Feat: Sakura

It was one of his clones that had found her.

Naruto had made over a hundred clones around Konoha in his search for his other teammate. It shouldn't be too hard should it? You could see her bright pink hair from a mile away. So here they were, running around the streets and rooftops until one finally spotted her, and sent the word around.

So Naruto approached Sakura, who was currently walking around some shops.

"Hey Sakura!"

Whipping around, Sakura shouted, "Not right now! I need to buy some new kunai Naruto!"

Naruto crossed his arms and huffed. "Well go on then, I'll wait right here."

"Fine then! Wait there!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Watching Sakura storm into the store, he began tapping his foot, humming a tune, throwing some raw fish over the crowds to see their reactions. He even decided to play rock, paper, scissors and eye spy with a clone. He was so caught up in his games he didn't see Sakura's fist heading for the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"You're not paying attention!"

"Well I am now!"

"SHUT IT!"

Taking a deep breathe, Sakura finally asked, "So, what did you need me for?"

Naruto beamed. "Teaching me better manners!"

…

"That's it?"

"Yep!"

…

"Ooooookay. Sure."

"Wahoooo!"

* * *

"Okay Naruto. Girls like to be given things. So we'll start with how to greet a girl, talk a bit, and give a gift."

"Mmk."

"So pretend I'm the girl alright? Come and say hi."

Sakura walked off and sat under a tree in the park, took out her book, and started to read. Naruto watched her and bounced on over.

"Heya Sakuraaaa! How's it going!?" Naruto shouted to her. "What ya reading? Is it one of those boring books. Cool! I'd never be able to read those nerdy things!"

"Narutooooo!" Sakura ground out. "That's not how you do it! Are you trying to scare them? Make them self conscious on what they may like to read?"

"I said it was cool!"

"But you said it was nerdy and boring!"

…

"Fair point."

* * *

"Let's skip straight to the gift part, okay? It shouldn't be that hard, it'd make a good starting point!"

Naruto and Sakura walked through the streets, heading to buy a gift for Naruto to practice with.

They walked into a shop as Sakura called out. "Hey Ino!"

Naruto made a noise of surprise as their friend walked out of the back to the flower shop's front counter.

"Hey guys!" Ino greeted. "What brings you here today?"

"We just need a simple bouquet of flowers. I'm giving Naruto lessons."

Ino leaned over, gossip mode engaged. "What kind of lessons?"

"Lessons on manners."

Ino laughed. "Ohhhh, good luck then! You'll need it!"

Naruto looked indignant. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Never mind. Here are the flowers. Naruto, you pay."

"WHAT?!"

"Good manners mean you pay for the girl! Don't make them pay for themselves!"

"Fine, fine." Naruto grumbled paying the price of the flowers. "I'll pay for the stupid flowers."

"Bye Ino!" Sakura called out, leaving.

"Byeee!" Was the reply to their retreating backs.

* * *

Ino huffed. "My flowers aren't stupid! So rude! Naruto is a lost cause!"

* * *

"Bring those flowers to me as if I was the girl. Okay?"

"Got it!"

So Sakura made her way back to the tree and sat back down with her book. Naruto walked this time, holding on to the bouquet tightly. He made his way over to her, and stood next to her.

"Err. Sakura take these!" He stammered, and shoved them to her face.

Sakura in turn spluttered from the flower attack to her face. Standing up, she batted them away.

"No! No no no no!" Sakura went off. "This isn't how you do it! What are you trying to do? Suffocate her?!"

"Jeez. Sorry!"

"Well I give up! You aren't getting any girl this way Naruto! You can't even learn manners!"

"You're giving up so quickly?!"

"It's pointless!"

"Then what do I do?!"

"I don't know, ask Sasuke!"

"He was the one to lead me to you!"

"Then ask Kakashi! He's a flirt, go talk to him!"

…

"Huh, you're right." With that, Naruto hopped away, leaving a fuming Sakura, and a bouquet of flowers.

* * *

Sakura finished throwing them into the river, watching the various petals flowing downstream.

* * *

Ino was taking a nice break from her shop, but stopped seeing various petals flowing by the river. Eyes widening in surprise, she fumed. "Narutooooooo!"

* * *

 ***2/4***


	17. Manners III - Feat: Kakashi

"Alright. Attempt number 3." Naruto mumbled, searching for his sensei. Naruto glanced around and spotted Kakashi walking out of a bookstore. Jumping from his perch he ran over to his sensei.

"Oi! Kakashi!"

Kakashi turned around and raised his eyebrow at his student. "What is it Naruto?"

"I need your help with manners so I can be with girls!"

"Really now? I can help. I just got the perfect thing."

Naruto beamed. Then realized. _Wait…_

Looking behind him, there was the bookstore Kakashi walked out of. _He just got the perfect thing?_

Kakashi reached into his pocket and pulled out a book. One which Naruto recognized. "When would you like to start Naruto?"

Naruto looked at the book, then at Kakashi, then at the book again.

"Oh HELL NO!" He yelled before taking off.

...

Kakashi shrugged and walked away, nose in book.

* * *

 ***3/4***


	18. Manners IV - Feat: Hinata

She could see him trying really hard to become a better person.

She could see that he cares, maybe he wasn't doing it for her specifically, but he was trying all the same.

She liked him either way.

* * *

She watched him with Sasuke, and cringed when Sasuke sent him away. Where though? She wasn't close enough to hear.

* * *

She watched him with Sakura, the slightest bit of jealousy emerging when she saw them get flowers and then practicing with those.

* * *

She watched him with Kakashi.

Yeah, moving on.

* * *

Hinata knew that Naruto wants to be the best he can be, but she wants him to know he is already that way. To her…

He's perfect.

Everyone knows Naruto can barely say 3 words to her and she'd fall into a faint, but not today.

Today. Today will be the day where he will know exactly how she feels. Today will be the day that she can confess. The day to see where his feelings lie with her.

Would he like her back?

Oh no, what if he doesn't?

What if it's all a waste?

 _NO! Don't think like that! Just go to him and tell him. Whatever happens, happens!_

* * *

"Naruto?"

Turning around, Naruto beamed. "Hinata! Hi! How's it going?!"

"O-oh, uhm, it's going g-good N-Naruto. How a-are y-you?"

"I'm doing great!"

 _Now or never…_

"Hey Naruto-"

"Hey Hinata-"

"Oh! Uhm, I, you go first N-Naruto!"

"Thanks! I wanted to tell you something important, I've been meaning to for a while!"

Hinata looked on curiously, what ever could he need to tell her?

"Hey Hinata?"

"Ohh! U-uhm, yes?"

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

…

…

…

Hinata felt her face heat up instantly, and she collapsed to Naruto calling her name.

 _Naruto just said that to me. NARUTO just said that to me. Naruto just said that to ME!_

* * *

"Hinata? Hinata! You okay? Hinata are you sick? Hinata!"

Naruto was shaking her shoulders, the poor girl seemed so out of it. He then heard an 'Ahem!" behind him. He looks and sees Sakura, looking ready to punch something.

"What is it Sakura?"

"What are you doing Naruto!"

"Err, nothing?"

…

One smack later and the two of them propped Hinata under the shade of a tree. Naruto could feel Sakura's glare on him even if he wasn't looking. _Scary…_

A groan is what grabbed his attention though. He looked at the raven haired Hyuga. "Hinata are you ok? Are you feeling better? Are you still sick?"

Hinata looked at him for a few seconds, and remembered what happened. Her face immediately went red.

Naruto panicked. "Oh no! Maybe we should get you back home, you must be still sick!"

"No! No! I'm fine!" Hinata managed to say. She looked bashfully at the ground. "It's j-just. I w-wasn't expecting you to say that…"

Sakura turned to Naruto, "what on earth did you say to her?"

"To be my girlfriend."

…

 **has stopped working…**

"Uhm, N-Naruto?"

"Yea?"

"That'd be g-great."

Naruto beamed and hugged Hinata, as she tried to stay awake. She felt safe with him, and happy. Very happy. She smiled and hugged him back.

* * *

"Oh yes, yes. That'd make excellent material. Indeed. Who knows how great this next book of mine would be based on those two! Heeeheee!"

"Jiraiya…"

"Oh Kakashi! Hi! Have you seen your students recently? Such gems! Already making girlfriends!"

…

"Kakashi?"

…

"KAKASHI?!"

…

* * *

Ino finally stopped fuming about her beloved flowers that had been flowing down the river, she calmed down and took a deep breath. Then she saw it.

Ino watched perplexed as a twitching Jiraiya floated down the river. She could even hear him mumbling.

"Kakashi, w-we could talk this o-out r-right? No need to b-be o-overprot-tective right? C'mon, I-I thought we were on t-the same s-side? K-Kakashi? K-K-K-Kasdadjsbns…"

Ino watched him float away in confusion. "Huh, wonder what Kakashi-sensei has been up to recently?"

* * *

 ***4/4***


	19. Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

**I don't own Naruto! All credits to Masashi Kishimoto!**

* * *

Team 7 were waiting on the bridge, both bored and annoyed. The reason? They were missing a certain blonde genin. Sakura had been pacing back and forth irritably and Sasuke had been slowly sharpening his kunai.

"Where is that orange-clad idiot!" Sakura finally snapped. "He's so late it's ridiculous!"

Sasuke 'hn'd' in agreement. "True, even Kakashi is here, and that says something." He pointed a bit behind him where their sensei currently sat 'hidden' in the trees. Being noticed, he rolled his eyes and jumped down.

"So why don't we find our wayward comrade hm?"

Nodding in agreement, all three turned to go look for their friend, but immediately stopped in their tracks. Kakashi squinted, "Is that Guy?"

Sasuke and Sakura looked towards the same direction, to see a green blur barreling towards them.

"Seems too small to be Guy." Sasuke commented.

"Oh no! Please don't tell me it's Lee! I'll never be rid of him!" Sakura groaned.

All three braced themselves for the incoming torrent of either Guy or Lee, but were surprised to see it was…

Naruto.

Now that Naruto had stopped next to them, they could clearly see that he was in fact, wearing green. From a green top hat, to a green jumpsuit, and green sandals. _Did he dump his clothes in paint or something?_ He was also holding a mug used for ale or beer, but from the smell, was surely not. Maybe it's apple juice?

"Sooooo, Naruto." Kakashi started. "Have an occasion we weren't aware of?"

Naruto beamed in excitement. "How could you not know of this! It's Saint Patrick's Day! So exciting!"

"Saint whatwho now?" Sakura deadpanned.

"Saint Patrick's Day! Full of green and Irish and four leaf clovers and their luck! Just look at this beautiful outfit!"

"Hn."

"It looks great Sasuke! How dare you insult this beautiful outfit!"

"Hn."

"No, I didn't simply dump my clothes in paint either."

Sakura looked in confusion. "Then how do you have a green jumpsuit?"

"Painted my dear friend. Painted painstakingly with a brush."

Kakashi had stopped tuning in ages ago, simply choosing to read his book while they argued. When it seemed like it had died down, he snapped it shut and gave them an eye smile.

"Why don't we take a break from practice and training today, and simply enjoy this uh, _Irish_ festival you're so keen on telling us about."

He was met with a series of shrugs and "okays" and he turned to Naruto. "Ready to lead the way my green genin?"

Naruto looked off into the distance and raised his finger in a 'wait' motion. Kakashi just stared at him expectantly.

"We have 2 more joining us today sensei."

"Who might they be?"

Naruto smirked, and the ground started to tremble. The rest of team 7 were shocked at the sudden change of events. Were they under attack? Was it an enemy? An earthquake? Before Kakashi could call out any directions, Naruto pointed back to where he came from.

Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi all paled. Even as Naruto's guests were still dots they could hear it.

" **GUY SENSEI!"**

" **LEE!"**

" **GUY SENSEIIII!"**

" **LEEEEE!"**

"Happy Saint Patrick's Day!" Naruto called out in joy, as the others wept beside him.


End file.
